


The 4 year secret.

by DBLWRITES



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: American University, Angst, Coming Out, Divorce, Drinking, Exchange Student, Family Member Death, Finding true love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Frat Boy Niall, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sex, Gay sex virgin, M/M, Marrige, Meeting the Parents, Mention Drug Use, Post-Divorce, Religious Parents, Rowing, Secrets, University, anullment, coastal city, crew - Freeform, finding The One, hidden love, mention straight sex, new marriage, santa barbara University, study abroad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-07-12 09:33:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 42,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7096981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DBLWRITES/pseuds/DBLWRITES
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How do you tell your family, the people who love you the most your biggest secret. Something you've been holding onto for over 4 years. How do you tell them you've been living a completely different life to what they had expected.  </p><p>Or. </p><p>Recently divorced student Harry leaves England to restart his life at the university of Santa Barbara. What he doesn't expect is to find true love in the strangest of places.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. were it all started.

How do you tell your family, the people who love you the most your biggest secret. Something you've been holding onto for over 4 years. How do you tell them you've been living a completely different life to what they had expected. 

These were the thoughts that had Harry turnover in his sleep. Feeling the weight of the world coming down on him. As he tried to piece together all the times he could have confessed, when he should have blurted it out and told everyone. 

Why did it take him till his gran was on her deathbed to finally decide not to chicken out. It had come in a day ago, the news of her falling ill and that it was time to come home and spend time with the family while they spent her last few weeks together. 

This wasn't something he had thought would happen as he looked up at the ceiling trying to trace back his steps. It was going to take a lot of explaining, to show up as a stranger to everyone. But love isn't predictable he never thought his life would have turned toward the scary and unknown, showing him bright days and warm nights. “choosing” The harder way in life was never how he thought of it, since this was his exception. 

Movement turned his attention to the side as a warm arm moved along his torso up to his ribs. Fingers stroking softly “can't sleep?” The voice had layers of sleep making the words sound gentle and confused. 

Nodding as the hand keeping his ribs warm gripped awkwardly at his elbow and pulled. “Come.” The dry sounding voice still sweet as he turned off his back, cheek coming into contact with a sun-kissed chest nuzzling into the soft skin. Covering half the smaller body with his own, leg finding its home tangled between milky thighs. 

Lips left impressions on his soul while they dusted their velvet touch over a furrowed brow. Aided by a slow rake of fingers through loose curls. Helping to ease the anxious sense that had caught in his throat ever since he realized that his new life was about to collide with his old life. 

Maybe in the morning he could clear his thoughts, as a restless sleep finally found him. Anxious dreams of losing everything, waking up with a hand holding his as he tried to calm a raging heartbeat. Looking down at joined hands, with rings that were nothing special having promised that one day when they were making money they would buy nice ones. 

Trying to think of what actually happened now that he had to back step where he had ended up. Think back to where he had broken off from who he was to now. Pulling himself from bed mind still dizzy with thoughts running through. Deciding that maybe a run could help sort out his head. 

Early dawn was one of his favorite times, reminding him of staying up all night to watch sunrises at the back of friends cars or along the beach with his best friend at his side. Nights spent with energy drinks and text books trying to remember anything for massive exams. 

He could be looking for answers with his marriage in all the wrong places, thinking to the time when they started dating, but it wasn't anything to do with them. Trying to push even further, get deep down to the root that he had never shared this major part of his life. Breathing in crisp morning air, thinking back to what had happened to get him here at this moment. 

Chest rising and falling as he pushed sleeves up on the University sweater. He could do this, he could find the answer as to why. Going back to the last time he had ever had his family fully immersed in his world. How could he explain who he was now and how it was ok.

\---

 

They had been attached at the hip as soon as she moved a few blocks away and started at his school. She had blistered hands and chubby cheeks, teeth too big for her mouth. It was love, at least that's what he could call it. Admiring her ability to fight with the other boys and wear a backwards cap. She wasn’t anything like the other girls in school, with scraped knees and her brother’s hand-me-downs. She was cool without having to try, and when they had turned 12 she had picked him to be her boyfriend. No one else, and not ever having a girlfriend before he jumped at the chance to be with someone who wanted him, believing with everything that he wanted that too. 

Guess he never really had a second thought about it, they were soul mates from what he understood of the word at his young age. Even when he scraped together all his after school job wages to buy a pretty ring for her. It didn’t feel like it wasn’t something he should just do, going along with the plan she had for them. Growing into such a beautiful girl that he hadn’t even noticed till he was seconds from dropping to his knee. 

Her hair had grown and cheeks slimmed, Harry wasn’t stupid this is what boys dreamed for, A beautiful girl who wanted nothing else but to spend her life with him. As she nodded her head after he had messed up the proposal by tripping on his two feet, just meters away from where they had first met. Doing everything that he had thought was the right thing to do. 

Their parents had been skeptical at first but the small town folk who had raised the two in religious homes had finally agreed it was a good idea. He always thought that this is what you were suppose to do, get married young right out of highschool. And then work and that was happiness. 

So after they had finished school just before going to uni, they had gotten married on a hot summer's day. It had meant to be a small wedding, but turned into something more than either of them had been expecting. That had been the peek of their relationship, they had moved into a small apartment. Living in one another’s space, something that Harry hadn’t expected would happen once they were married and living together. What was new and exciting actually becoming a burden. Once cute habits had turned into annoying pet peeves. Realizing fast that they didn’t share as much in common as they thought. And even small differences of how they had been brought up where now stirring up arguments. 

Growing up together they had never really been close physically. Not the type to cuddle and cling, even holding hands wasn’t really something she favored. So Harry kept his distance, as space drove them further apart, to the point where they hardly stayed in the same room. 

They had talked about it, ever since they were kids. The idea of going to school anywhere other than England. Something about America had always called to Harry, as they finally agreed to start applying. But when it came to getting acceptance letters only he got one from the california university in santa barbara. 

Only leading to more fights, it had been her last straw. The once adventurous girl he had married had become a scared kitten the opposite of her once fearless self. It had gotten so bad, that just before their first major holiday together married. Was spent in different places with their respected families. 

Since they couldn’t get a divorce because of their families religious views, they had fallen in a window of annulment. A blessing in disguise of the girls lack of intimacy with in part from his own side. Just under 8 months married, they had been wiped clean of the act. Harry couldn’t say anything from her side, since he wasn’t in her head. But he could tell she was disappointed with him as he family had been.

Like a firecracker it had gone off and fizzled out quickly. Nothing left, no hate or anger left between them. Parting one last time from the shared apartment, leaving almost everything with her since he would be working for the next few months before his move to the U.S. 

That summer before he left had to be the last time he had kept his family in the loop. Packing up his bags, and standing in the airport saying goodbye to his parents. This was it, this could be the first time he actually made choices and would be in complete control of his life. Boarding that plane Harry had never felt so scared in his life.


	2. How I met you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry recalls what it was like starting school, trying to decide if this was just another terrible mistake. Also how he met his friend Niall.

Walking into the small apartment, toeing off sneakers. Stepping right into the kitchen the smell of a pot of coffee brewing. Taking in the sight of the blond standing in a university sweater with nothing else. “coffee?” Taking a second or two to finally meet sleepy blue eyes and messy bedhead.

Shaking his short curls in response and nodded his head to the bathroom beside their bedroom. “Need a shower first.” The other just nodded, making their way closer. Harry didn't step back to let them pass. Relishing in the feeling of the sun-kissed hand coming up along his shoulder and into his sweaty hair. Relaxing any tension allowing himself to be pulled toward awaiting lips. Tanned hands instinctively reaching out grip the back of bare thighs. Pulling the shorter even closer against his damp chest. “Come with me?” Though it was hard to tell if he had said it outloud or in his head as the lips only pressed harder against his in a need he now knew all too well. 

Trying not to be too disappointed as pink lips left his, green eyes opening to focus on sun exposed skin. Blue eyes lit with a dash of need and a mix of sleep, and the pout on kiss warmed lips. “Can’t gotta get out of the house fast and get to work… but.” There was that teasing drawl as fingers played with the ends of Harry's curls, the signs of a side smirk always meant they could find a way. “Tonight, when you get home from class?” 

Nodding as he gave one last rough squeeze at milky thighs getting a ‘Harry.’ In a tone of a warning as he pulled back from his blond only to be pulled back. “You ok?” The smirk was gone and the playful flirty eyes replaced with concern. 

“Yeah.. Just got a lot on my mind.” There it was, something he wasn’t sure he could ever get use to. Someone wanting to be in his physical space being pulled into a hug. This was the person who had shown him that it wasn’t weakness to lean on someone. To be with someone who didn’t care what state he was in, the person who craved touch just as much as he never realize he had.

“It’ll be ok babe. Promise.” The voice was soothing against his ear, like the harmony of song birds singing together. It felt like peace when he was at war with himself. “One week. And we’ll get to see her.” All Harry could do was nod as he finally pulling back from the hug, pecking plush lips one more time. Hearing a soft ‘love you’ coming from behind him, smiling softly as he turned around and eyed them standing in just the jumper, picking up the coffee cup and heading past toward the bedroom. “Love you too. Have a good day at work.” 

Knowing already before he stepped under the running water that his other half would already be gone by the time he finished. As he stepped under the shockingly cool water, quickly stretching for the tap to turn the temperature up.

\---

It was colder than he expected, wading into the pacific. Days had gone by since he had arrived and found his dorm room. Getting in early to navigate the city and figure out where everything was on campus. He wouldn’t meet his room mate still for another day, so he tried not to get his hopes up that maybe he could befriend them. 

Everything seemed bigger and brighter in the states. It could be because he had chosen a beach side town to study in. But it seemed so opposite then what he had grown up but he guessed that’s what he was aiming for, perfect for starting new. It was hard to not feel homesick when he hadn’t meet anyone, and everything was so foreign. Feeling stuck in his head but that also could have been from the jetlag.

This is what he had landed on that normal college students would do. Go down to the beach on their free time. With his pant legs rolled up and shoes not meant for sand being held to keep from getting wet. Adjusting quickly as he walked through the water, how it pulled at his feet encouraging him to go further in. Begging to be played in though he pushed the thought away as he kept walking. He could have been walking for any span of time on the hot late summer's day. The american holiday had everything closing early and as the afternoon drew on it pulled more people to the beach. Ignoring the friendly tied wanting a few last swimmers before the end of the season, he wouldn't be one of them. 

Purposely walking his way down toward a more quiet area, not noticing the line of cars now driving in, or the 20-something year olds starting to emerge from the parking lot. It wasn’t till he heard the shouting. Looking up just in time to see a nude male go running past splashing with heavy steps into the water. Followed by a group of mainly guys and some girls all in an array of colored swimwear. 

“Bloody hell, it’s freezing!” 

The words caught his attention as he watched the tighten up stance of an accented blond just meters away being one of the last to make it into the water. Already trying to run out of the water, his shoulders where red matching his swim shorts. And his sunglasses covered his face making it hard to make out his expression. Watching the shorter be approached by a taller broad shouldered man. 

Harry couldn’t take his eyes off the sight as the sunglass wearing male was picked up and thrown over the tallers shoulder and practically dragged into the water. Watching the group breaking into swimming and play fighting. As he tried to get away from the group but there wasn’t much beach left as he turned back every so often to catch the blond’s booming voice laughing with someone. 

All he could think was how much he admired the man’s way of talking to every member in his group. Running back and forth up the beach to talk with people or yell about something. Maybe he could be that guy, the one that everyone knew and talked to. He could be anyone he wanted to be now that he wasn’t under the pressure of his old life. Maybe he could learn to care less of what his parents thought and their family friends who now judged him harshly for his marriage falling apart. 

Blinking back to attention when he realized that he had just stopped and stared again at the shirtless man who was flaunting an amazing body. Never once had the curly haired man ever admired another man’s arms. Shaking his head and heading away from the water and back up the beach. Really he didn’t know how he could become someone so confident, that's why he had married the only girl who he knew held all the confidence in the world. 

Little did he know that he had just laid eyes on one of the most important people he'd ever end up meeting. Thought he wasn't aware of that yet, leaving the beach that day heading back toward the campus realizing quickly that he had never been this alone. While he walked past large groups enjoying the long weekend the smell of BBQ on every block. 

Getting back to the two bed dorm the other side still vacant. Flopping down, as much as he hated why he left home it didn't stop the sadness creeping in and making him question every choice he had made up to this point. Really hoping that one day he wouldn't feel as if he had ruined his family’s image. 

 

Every day for the first few weeks he had questioned his reasons for being at the school. Avoiding any kind of extra curricular, after every class leaving to get to the next or head back to his dorm or library. Lacking in communication unless it was necessary, to the point where he would just nod his head politely at his roommate. Even dodging calls from his parents only answering one in a few. 

Harry hadn’t been sure why he had shown up, he was annoyingly sure that it was going to be actual foreign students. Not some english speaking loner, as he found himself at the entrance of a classroom marked ‘International students group.’ Skeptical was his first thought that he would meet anyone there that would find him at all interesting. As he walked in the room and moved toward the side of the group all milling about some chatting, most not. 

“Hello everyone, thanks for joining me today. I'm Liam Payne and I’ve been a student here three years. And i'll be running today’s group. So why don’t we all sit round and introduce ourselves.” A bit surprised when the young guy leading also had a similar accent. As the group quieted down and they introduced themselves, finding it a bit weird being the only one with English being his only language. Everyone seemed so much more interesting from where they came from, as his turn finally came up. 

“A- Hi, I’m Harry Styles. And I’m from England.” Nodding his head at the group all staring back at him waiting for him to elaborate but his tongue got stuck in his mouth and there was nothing else left he could do as he looked to the next person up. He had had his chance and now he had blown it, if only he could have been outgoing and charming maybe then he wouldn’t have to spend the next year in his dorm room.

Half way down the hall came the sound of feet hurrying their step from behind him, looking back just to see the older Englishman come running towards him. “Hey! Wait up.” The accent was nice to hear as he stopped and waited for the man to catch up. “Wolverhampton.” The hand had jetted out and waited for his, swallowing quickly before he took it giving it a shake. 

“Holmes Chapel.” Offering his best awkward smile, finally pulling his hand back and crossing his arms. 

“We’re practically neighbors. Or at least it feels like it when you’re so far away from home.” All Harry could do was force a smile and nod since he felt the farthest from home at the moment. “You missing it?” 

“Ah. A bit, yeah. Do you like it here?” Watching as hazel eyes lit up and nodded. 

“Sure do, really love it here. Its sunny all the time and I'm always busy. But miss my parents, don’t I.” Liam seemed genuinely honest and kind.

“Guess so. Ah..” Clearing his throat at bit since he really didn’t know what to talk about, when he was in school he never had to worry too much about talking since that's why he had a girlfriend and friends to do it for him. Not that he hadn't been outgoing it just he didn't shine as bright as the others. 

“Think it would be cool to introduce you to someone… I think you’d like them a lot. Really nice, can always use another friend from across the pond.” Liam's voice was encouraging not showing any signs of pandering. 

“Sure.” Trying to turn up his tone a bit and seem more excited. Wasn't this what he wanted as he tried to be nice offering another half smile.

“Great, dining hall tonight around 7.”

“Ah- yeah ok.” Blinking as the man talked quickly and scribbled down a phone number and handed it over. ‘See ya tonight.’ 

 

Stepping into the dining hall it was a buzz of people talking, plates clinking. Texting the number that he was waiting. As he grabbed dinner and checked his phone again. Glancing up to find a spot, as he texted back the area he was in. 

Emerald eyes caught sight of a hat donned blond, holding up his hand in Harry's direction. As he blinked and glanced behind him maybe there was a group behind him that he was heading to. 

“Hey Harry, Yeah?” Blinking as he looked around before realizing it was the blond who had deep blue eyes now shining in the hall lights. Lacking sunglasses but gaining a shirt. 

Coughing a couple times trying to clear his throat. “Yeah? I mean hello?” watching as the blond set his tray down and sat across from him on the long table. 

“Hi.” There was a dumb smile on his face that Harry realized was aimed at him. “I'm Niall. Liam's friend.” Harry couldn't stop the smile from forming in his lips as he lifted his hand. 

“Nice to meet you.. is Liam running late? I texted him saying I was here.” Looking down perplexed at his phone then back up as blue eyes stayed on him. Unconsciously swallowing as he watched the sun burnt man hold up his phone. 

“Think you were texting me.” Harry's eyebrows pressed together as the frowned. “Oh don't take it personally. He’s a great guy just super busy since he's also an RA and part if all the like club type things. He doesn't have much time for his friends.” Niall laughed as he started on his healthy looking dinner. 

“Right. Sorry didn't know he was going to force someone to hang out with me.” Reaching out and pulling apart a fry and not bothering with eating it. Listening to the blond chew on a crunchy veggie.

“He's not forcing me to do anything. It's totally fine, Harry. I just remember starting here last year and it was such shit.” That caught his attention as he looked up from where he has just started staring at his half eaten dinner. 

“How long did it take to not suck?” Asking quietly because why not, it seemed like Niall wasn't going anywhere from now at least.

Niall had a quickly chuckle that felt like all his attention was devoted to the person he was talking to. And that happened to be Harry he had never felt like someone wanted to be in such a conversation. “Honestly the first month I debated leaving every day. I even packed my bag a few times.”

That had him as he smiled fully and nodded. “Ok good. I thought I was the only one.” Even letting out a small chuckle this was nice. 

“Woah. You do smile. Liam said I'd know you by how dark and brooding you are. I think I have the wrong Harry.” His eyebrows shot up taking that in 

“Oh, guess I'm not coming off very nice. But I've never done this, switch schools or anything. Guess everyone must have gotten used to me.”Shrugging but the thought had been a bit sad that he didn't know how to talk to people since it had been years in the town without much diversity. 

“You’re fine, don't stress it. It's university easier to figure things out without the shit from home.” Niall shrugged and Harry nodded as they kept talking about what they were studying. Finding out that the blond was a rower that lit the bulb in his head as to why the man had looked good shirtless but he wasn't going to bring it up. Also finding out that the man was in his second year and in a frat. Finding that last part fairly amusing. 

 

“Honestly, if you need anything. Just text me or call, I’m normally pretty easy to get a hold of.” Harry smiled back at the beaming smile as he nodded his head, both getting up and heading their separate ways. Looking down at his phone since they had just left each other and he already wanted to know when he’d get to see Niall again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! here's another chapter, hopefully its not to dark and broody i promise it wont be on every chapter. =D   
> And thank you for reading it =D hopefully once a week uploads!


	3. Should this be wrong?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Present Harry can't get enough of a certain blond. 
> 
> Yet past Harry is confused and worried for his closest friend. Could a fight he missed be the reason why hes distant.

Walking into the apartment stepping the few strides to be at the entrance of the small kitchen. Already his senses allured toward the smell of something cooking, steaming in the slow cooker. “Smells so good in here.” The tall curly haired man expressed with such want. Dropping his bag to the ground off his shoulder, catching the flick of blue eyes looking over from the sink. Watching cheeks lift up in a smile, as he walked in leaving his sandal's on as he moved in behind the blond putting his arms around the slim waist.

Left hand sliding into a wet right just enough to link their fingers. Breathing in the sweet smell of work cloths and a sent uniquely the shorters. “How was class?”

“Yeah, good.. so sleepy now.” Not minding the wet hand in his as he nuzzled into an exposed neck. Yawning against the warm skin, fast paced classes for the summer term had his brain trying to grasp for anything he should have learned. Add the night after a poor rest he was exhausted. “can't wait to eat and just crash. Can't believe I have one last class and exam and I'm done for the summer.” 

\----

 

“I'm about to be at my first university party!” Harry excited speaking up from where he was sitting against the frat boys headboard. Watching as he put on every sleeveless shirt he owned, stepping back every time to look at himself and muttering a quiet ‘no.’

“Guess you’re excited?” The blond's voice finally doing more than just quiet grumbling. Grabbing Harry’s attention from the laptop he had been doing very little school work on and more facebook browsing. 

“Yeah! I mean, not many parties I attended to that weren't being supervised by parents.” That got a laugh from the man double checking his outfit. ‘You’re such a virgin.’ Niall teased as Harry just huffed with a quiet “Hey.” But went along with it, too focused on the night ahead of them. ‘Give us the white hat.’ Looking to the side as he grabbed the olders white hat off the bedside and handed it over over. Watching him pop it on and then sit on the corner of the bed putting on a nice pair of white trainers. 

“Am I dressed ok?” Green eyes raking over his own black straight legged jeans and the white shirt he had on with a plaid sleeveless button down. 

“You’re not too bad. Need skinnier jeans though.” 

“Yeah not all of us can fit women’s jeans.” 

It got him a scoff, they had actually become very quick friends. Spending many days in each other’s space. Or off in a Library studying, even texting not stop between classes. He hadn’t laughed so often or as hard in years it felt like. It was a breath of fresh air, even the other frat bro’s where being nice to him and they could chat around if he was waiting on Niall. 

Said party was already starting down stairs, he could feel the vibration of music and hear the sounds of shouting. They hadn’t been asked to help much since neither were over 21, but he knew for a fact that Niall wasn’t a stranger to a drink or two. And tonight he was determined to have a drink and a good time. 

The night had been a messy blur, one beer that didn't particularly taste all that great had turned into a few shots. Slippery multi colored jello shots that tasted sweet and not like alcohol at all. Trying his best to keep up with his friends at the frat. 

Standing by one of the tables set up for beer pong that he still couldn't figure out. Feeling dizzy and lightheaded, a heavy arm wrapped around his shoulders. Looking to his side to see rosy cheeks and a huge toothy smile, his hat was backwards. Not noticing his own sway but the arm moved its grip from his shoulders to around his waist holding him up. “how's you?” 

Blinking slowly and hoping he was nodding like a normal person. “Yeah great!.” Talking over the music even with the blonds adorable pink ear was really close. 

“Think you’ve had enough. Let's go take a sit, yeah?” Missing the darting looks between his Irish friend and the closest frat brother who had been keeping a close eye. 

“Nah, so’k.” Taking a step back to prove he was fine and almost falling over, spilling half of his mixed drink. Maybe it was only now starting to hit him as he tried to straighten himself up and take a casual sip of his drink. 

“Alright.. mate come on, don't need you to get sick.” The red cup was being taken from his hand as he watched the blond finish it for him. “Let's just go upstairs for a bit. Yeah? I gotta change my top..?” 

Not realizing as he stumbled his way upstairs and to the blonds room that it all had been just a way to stop him from drinking more. Nor did he register the wolf whistles following after them. As he got into the room and flopped on the bed. 

“Here we go virgin. Just sleep it off.” Niall's voice sounded far away as Harry sighed and shook his head. It felt like a dream like he wasn't talking to his closest friend in school. Maybe that's why it felt ok to spill. 

“I'm not a virgin.” The topic had come in before but he had never really spoke about it since it was so weird. 

“You're not huh? I think that's something a virgin would say.”

Harry looked up from where his face had been smashed into the pillow at the blond pulling on at new shirt but the print was to fuzzy for him to read. “It's true, we were married and everything. Just doing my husbandly duty.”

“married? …” Not bothering to open his eyes back up as he nodded his head. “And where is this spouse?”

“Shes back in Holmes Chapel presumably… but who knows.” Yawning at the end since maybe he was getting a bit sleepy.

“and are you still married?” missing the concerned look that the blond had after finishing changing and stepping close to the bed.

“Nope. We weren't… compatible.” Harry couldn't stop yawning as he stretched out. “I'm just gonna close my eyes and I'll be back down later.. ok?” Settling in as he pulled the blankets over his shoulder. He didn't stay awake long enough to hear the blonds reply.

 

The sun couldn't have been up for that long, trying to pull the blankets further up and around his head. It took long drawn out minutes to realise that sleep wouldn't come back as he finally pushed down the covers and looked around the bright frat room. 

Looking out toward the desk on the side of the room. Letting blurry vision adjust to the light and the room, wondering over the others possessions. Finally landing on the sleeping bag on the ground, shock of blond hair sticking out of the top. 

Feeling guilty for having taken the blonds bed, trying to remember much from the night before but all he recalled was drinking and going to sleep, any conversations gone out the window. 

Staying still and watching the blond hair wondering if he would wake him up from sleep if he got up. Trying to weigh his options if getting up and going or staying and trying to sleep. But now he had to pee and didn't know how long he could hold it. 

“Nialler! Get the fuck up!”

Startled suddenly by the loud banging and shouting. He had almost made it to sitting. This gave him a good reason to pull his legs from under the covers only then realizing he was still fully clothed. As a few more bangs on the door went without a reply.

“Fuck off!!!” The growl and yell came from the floor as he looked from the door to the blond. Who was pulling the sleeping bag down just enough. 

“Get up! We need you to drive us! Come on, bring the Virgin!” Harry narrower his eyes at the door and sighed as movement stirred catching pale chest and puffy red eyes with an out of character frown on. But he wouldn't be so pleased if he was woken up after being up late. 

“go away!” Niall was up and standing and grabbing a pair of dark sunglasses and popping them on. The banging hadn't let up now with a chorus of ‘Niall, Niall, Niall.’ Sun tanned legs that became pale just before his boxers as he stocked his way to the door wrenching it open. “Fuck off.”

“Come on bro, your the only one who can drive.” A second later. “dude I can't get another dui.. I'll pay!”

Seconds of thought before he saw him nod. “fine, you dick heads are also paying for fuel.”

“legend! Meet you downstairs in 10!” The 3 guys were away from the door quickly as Harry watched the frat boy turn scratching his head, scowl only replaced by a yawn.

“Get up, were going to eat.” Nodding quickly as he had never seen angry or annoyed Niall before and it wasn't something he enjoyed. Not in the slightest as he swung his legs out of the bed feeling gross from the night befores clothes. “here.” having the pair of sweatpants and shirt thrown at him as he raised a brow at the blond. “You’re too dressed up for this place.”

“You ok?” this was concerning, the way the blond was acting and how annoyed he seemed to be. Getting a shrug in response as the older changed in front of him, into something very similar. 

Heading toward the car out front of the house with the small group. Trying to ignore the mess they had just walked through. “What about the house…?” Pointing when he was at the car. “That's why we have freshmen.’ chimed in the shorter guy in the group of guys like it was the most obvious thing. 

It was hard to move being pinned between the two frat bro’s taking up the seats in the back. While Niall was focused on the road with the owner thanking him again for driving. It felt like a whirlwind of 24 hours, but the idea of food was starting to peek his interest. Nothing seemed to be changing the olders mood as they drove, Harry wanted to hear his dumb jokes or silly impressions. It was really throwing him off. 

Breakfast had been amazing but that could have been from the lack of food in his system or maybe he was more hungover than he thought. Yet even with the meal in front of him he couldn't stop looking up to sunglasses covering blue eyes. Nudging him from under the table with his foot but the frat boy wasn't paying him any attention. It was like he was actively ignoring him and that didn't sit well with the curly haired student. 

They were all standing by the car, waiting on the shorter driver to finish up inside. Looking at one of guys to his side messy dark hair that stuck up in all directions. “Whats up with Niall? Is he usually like this after a night of drinking?”

“pfft. After the fight he had last night. I'd be pretty pissed too.” 

His eyebrows pushed together as he tried to comprehend that thought. “What? A fight?”

“Dude, where you not there last night?” The look he was given was as if he was a three eyed monster. 

“A-ah, I was there.” Trying to sound casual but it gave him away easily. 

“Virgin passed out early last night.” The other guy on his side speaking over him from where light hazel eyes where glued to the phone in his palm. 

“Oh shit. You missed it then. His ex showed up and all hell broke out.” The eagar raven haired ‘brother’ was excited to share the gossip. 

“What?” Not able to stop his jaw from dropping. That did not sound like the Niall he knew. 

“Yeah! It was insane, thought they were actually going to hit each other. Intense shit.” The other was still on his phone so he turned his attention away.

That confused him as couldn't stop thinking why Niall would want hit a girl. “Thats crazy. I guess makes sense, like why he's so crabby.”

“Yeah. Then he left guess he went to bed?” There was a shrug from the other as the pushed off the car standing straight. Looking over to see the blond walking there way with the owner of the car right after.

They got in and by God's good graces he was able to get in right behind Niall. It all explained the red eyes and the scowl. Buckling up in the small car that really shouldn't be holding 5 people. 

It couldn't have been more than ten minutes and the two others in the back seat where asleep telling by the snores coming from the front everyone was out. Except for himself and the driver not realizing that he was biting on his bottom lip. . 

Finally gaining enough courage to shift forward leaning against the back of the drivers seat. Peeking over the olders right side. “Hey… you ok?” When that didn't get the reaction he wanted which had been nothing not even a huff. . 

“Come on.” Reaching around the other side against the door, trying to sneak attack. Fingers making contact with the soft fabric of the rower’s shirt. Pushing deeper to hit the man's side with fast moving fingers. The first time getting a quiet ‘stop’ and a small flinch, as he looked up at the road making sure they hadn’t swerved or anything. Deciding to go one last time as his fingers brushed Niall’s sides once more. 

Maybe it was the shock of getting caught, his fingers being grabbed by the man’s over his side. Left hand out still holding the wheel but his right hand had Harry’s and he wasn’t sure what came over him. Maybe it was how fast his heart was racing, that had to be from being caught. But he couldn’t just pull away, deciding in an instant to push his hand forward into the man's more as he linked them. 

Half expecting the other to rip his hand away, or maybe he should have been the one to do that. Wasn't this suppose to feel weird, he wasn't sure what to expect. If anything he wasn't expecting the paler hand to be so soft between his fingers and the top of his hand where fingers made contact. Not able to feel the paddle worn hands as rough or dry like he had assumed rower’s hands would feel like. 

Glancing to the side where the others were still fast asleep, this felt so taboo that he hadn't wanted to be caught. Leaning his head forward on the back of the driver's headrest gazing out the window. Ignoring his hammering heart trying to let it all go and relax. Only wishing he was in the front seat to sit more comfortably. It felt so weird that it didn’t feel wrong.

They were minutes from campus the dorms and the frat house when Harry finally pulled his hand out of the others not liking the cold against his palm. Yet the thought of being caught by their friends would be a bit more embarrassing as he sat back before everyone was really awake. 

Things hadn't gone weird like he was expecting as he left the frat house in his borrowed clothes walking back to his dorm but the only thing he could think of was how Niall was in a far better mood. As he got back to his dorm feeling more confused than anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update ^_^   
> Hope your enjoying this so far, things are going to be picking up in the next few chapters. Hoping to get lots of writing done!


	4. How to kiss a boy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry drinks to much, Niall doesn't drink enough. There is that usual struggle of what should be right and why it doesn't matter.

Hesitation was holding him back from getting into bed. Lingering by the desk fiddling with the alarm, really anything to avoid going to bed even if he was exhausted. It was the building sense of anxiety that crept back into him, the same from the night before. Weighing down on his chest. 

Questioning light blue eyes, a sun-kissed hand patting to his spot. “What’s wrong?” Their tone was quiet bathed with concern. Though he had to say it was a place he loved seeing the blond. Wrapped up in everything they shared, comforter looking just as it's name sounded. 

Rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands, this was frustrating. “What if I can't sleep like last night?” The words now out in the open but once he said them he felt less scared of that, he was safe in the small bedroom. 

No words were spoken, watching the mess of blond hair move forward and the slow crawl to the edge of the bed. Taking the few steps closer seeking comfort in familiar arms. Warm hands pushed along his bare sides, making their path up along his back. Loving that sensation of the slow drag of fingers working their way up tense muscles. Dropping his head forward taking the sight in of brows pinched together in concern, looking more then just at him it was like being looked into. Everything always seemed to melt away as he closed the gap between bare bodies Pressing lips against soft pink petals, velvet to the touch spreading warmth through the curly haired mans body. 

There wasn’t much to fear when he felt this good, this complete. Letting lips encourage him onto the bed, laying down on top of the smaller frame keeping himself propped up on strong forearms. Hand pushing into soft hair, letting everything wash away and just get lost in the taste of his lover against his own red wine lips. 

 

\----

Harry’s first October in the states had been nothing but fast, other then midterms happening. Nothing else had been a struggle, even after the hand holding incident that had him stressing for days but it didn’t come between him and his closest friend. They didn’t talk about it, Niall was his usual self so the brunette didn’t feel the need to press it. Though it didn’t stop him from thinking about it from time to time, trying to remember what it felt like. If he was laying in bed some nights just before falling asleep he could feel the warmth which had left him even more lost. 

Trying to push back any of those thoughts as they stepped out into the mildly chilly early November night. Halloween had been fun, frat party that he didn’t drink much at since he didn’t want a repeat from earlier that term. Waiting for this night for a while, midterms were done and with only a few papers so far he was ready to release some tension. 

“Ok, but how are we going to be drinking?” Asking as he walked with the group of frat boys, all with sweaters and full length pants. The days of broad shorts and muscle tops far behind them as the mild winter weather came closer. Making fun of them only slightly since he was used to being in the cold London falls. Still able to walk around in just a short sleeve without any complaint.

“Bro.” The closest brother to him reached out and patted his shoulder. “Just trust me.” That wasn’t that reassuring as they walked toward the strip of road that had the city's main nightlife. Nervously rubbing his hands together as they walked toward a darkly lit club music drifting out of the doors. By the skin of their teeth and some really great sweet talk that got them in. Also could have been the few fake I.Ds. 

Finding himself at the bar, grabbing his first beer of the night. It had been dark, with the usual club vibe of erratic bright lights flashing. Dark dance floor, already filling with what he assumed was a usual saturday night crowd. 

Only swaying slightly to the music, as he tried his best to stop himself from staring at his friend showing off his dance moves. The loud happy Irishman he was use to, as he dragged his eyes away from the site. 

He really hadn’t meant to go drink to drink with the Irishman. But that's how he found himself at the bar a while later getting another round. “Niall, just don’t look toward the exit.” The voice was at his side as he looked up, at the blond and followed his gaze. They had to have been in the dark club for an hour maybe two.

Niall's voice was surprised and worried. “Why are they here?” 

Harry couldn't stop the interest as he leaned over to ask the closest to him in there group. “What am i missing?”

“Dude, that's his ex..” The taller guy a few years ahead of them used the neck of his bottle to point in the direction of the couple on the other side of the dance floor.

“The blond?” She did look really cute. It wouldn't have been a shock if he had dated her, he was a good looking guy and had a really nice accent. 

“Huh.. no man. The dude with black hair.” The look he got from the frat bro had been like Harry had spoken a different language. But it all came crashing down on him like a giant wave. Anything that had thrown him off now starting to make sense, in a way that never did before. Sure he had met a few ‘gay’ people before, but there weren’t any where he was from. Realizing just as quickly that they probably hid it well… 

Piecing together times where Niall had said someone was fit and when Harry took a look he never saw a girl, maybe he tried to sum it up to ‘she walked around the corner’, and he missed the spotting. He had been seeing the blond the way his parents would have wanted, the way he had been brought up to play down anything that wasn't their version of normal. 

But Niall was really cool and not flamboyant like he had expected the average gay man to be. Why wasn't he different, why did he look and talk like all the other frat boys. How come it was so easy for everyone to just accept him, not treated any differently. It was a mind fuck for sure, all the blinders coming off exposing his ignorance to himself.

Harry hated that that's where his mind went, that it went straight to how he couldn't tell. It wasn't his business. But as he glanced back taking in the now annoyed looking blond, emerald eyes watching the end of his drink disappear in a matter of seconds. He hated this more, that Niall's night was seemingly ruined just by seeing the guy.

Finishing his own drink keeping up with the group. It had been to many so quickly just like his first frat party. But he didn't feel like he was swimming like last time, there was something else holding his attention. Worrying his lip as he kept his eyes from leaving that blond anchor, in the mess of people and loud music. This is where he kept his eyes locked, unaware he hadn't been blinking not that anyone was paying any attention to him. 

“He's looking, keep it cool man.” The tall bearded guy commented as Harry just watched icy blues steal a glance over, he wasn’t stupid he had seen the girl the raven haired man was with. Long blond hair with a small dress on, all the stops to make a man lose his mind. Thoughts he pushed back, trying not to think why this guy had dated Niall just to be dating a girl again. 

As he was passed a shot from one of the guys in the frat who was trying to distract Niall from it all. Missing the clink of tiny shot glasses, taking it back and passing it back to anyone who stood closer to the bar. Eyes catching the the blues go back toward the dance floor for another sweep, his lip trapped in his nervous habit watching Niall watch his ex. Trying to decide if he really wanted to do what he was about to. 

Like an innocent fluffy kitten pouncing on an unsuspecting victim. Right when ice met gem tones, Harry was pushing forward awkwardly grabbing the blond's shoulder pushing his lips against Nialls. 

At first there was nothing back, no push for more. Why didn't he want to kiss him back, had he already done something wrong. Was this how boys kissed.

He had never had any thoughts go faster in his mind, since it had only been a few seconds till finally soft pink lips that tasted like the shot they had just taken pressed back. An arm was wrapping around his waist and that's all he could register, not the sounds of their group ‘oh’ing or the fact that Niall's ex had to be watching. 

Mixing his lips with the man's, he was kissing a boy and he wasn’t instantly being burned or turning to dust. The shorters lips didn’t feel like sandpaper adding that he wasn’t a bad kisser at all. As alcohol induced thoughts kept him from pulling back, wanting to stay with arms around his middle like no others had really done, long tanned fingers gripping shoulders he had never realized he had longed to touch. 

It had just meant to be a short peck, a soft kiss to tell the frat boy not to worry about dumb boys. As if that could have been the most normal thing guys do with one another, condolence kisses. 

But it had quickly turned into inseparable lips. Harry's head was swimming with the heady feeling of time passing in a blink and yet going so slow. 

Instantly regretting how much he drank as he felt the need to hold tighter onto the sturdy blond for stability. Pulling back just to take a breath, not noticing the alcohol on their lips anymore just hot breath against his cheek. “Well that was unexpected.” The words held so much amusement that it made Harry laugh, cheeks reddening to match the Irishman's. Standing back a bit the arms around his waist not pulling away so he kept his still. Glad for them since it was really becoming obvious he had done it again swaying forward both taking a small step in the same direction. “Steady.. Maybe we should head back.“

Not sure why it came out but he leaned in heavy to the blond trying to get to his ear. “We should go back to yours.” Leaning into lightly stubbled jaw, trying to get his lips back on Niall anyway he could. Being rewarded with lips peeking his and a nod. ‘Can do.’

-

Nothing could have prepared him for it, for the attack of lips or the intensity in emerald eyes. Surprised by the forceful kiss at first but he would have been a fool to not push back. If he was honest he had wanted this for a while, but had been so unsure of Harry ever since he had been the one to hold his hand.

Liking the way Harry had looked at him, as if he was the only one in the room. But he tried not to get his hopes to high, but even after a few drinks he could let it happen. Why not, even if the last time he kissed a straight boy it had ended in a shitty ex showing up everywhere proving his straightness.

The cute curly-haired boy had sounded so needy when he had asked to come back to his, and if he was drunker he would have tried to go further. But the walk back had been sobering. The lean of the taller at his side as they held hands for the second time ever. Harry's had felt so soft and warm even if he refused to admit he was cold in the cool night. 

Listening and laughing to his rambling that held no continuity just word vomit that he would take over real vomit. As they walked under the glow of tall orange street lights. The tanned taller had stopped while Niall kept walking, hand not letting him go too far. ‘what?’ Being pulled back as Harry took the few steps back to lean against the closest thing to him, a small red hatchback. 

Pulled against him, on a more even playing field as he let the younger hold him, kissing back when Harry had started pecking at his lips. “S-stop Harry… we're almost to the frat “ that wasn't the full reason, since the attention was sweet and nice. Needy but gentle, it was making him laugh quietly against lips but also building the smallest spark of sadness. In the morning he wouldn't want this. He would realize he'd made a mistake and hadn’t meant to lead Niall along, at least in his head that's what he thought about. 

Lips had stopped moving against the corner of his mouth were inexperienced had missed. Making Niall's heart stop this was it. He'd sober up now and tell him to get off. ‘sorry..’ Harry's voice had come out quite against his cheek. “for what?” Niall waiting for it, every second was agony. 

The hand still holding his squeezing it, closing his eyes tight waiting for the inevitable. “I’m rubbish at kissing.” Startled by the words as he inched back just to see self-conscious worry. Brows pinching together shaking a blond head. 

“You’re not…” Leaning in to give him more than just words to reassure him. That had been a first, as he pushed against the slim frame for more. If he could only kiss Harry once, in his only slightly intoxicated mind he wanted it to be the best. 

They were up and laughing, somehow able to make the small car’s alarm go off. Holding his larger hand tightly as he pulled him along down the street, feet stumbling to keep up with the sudden jolt of adrenaline. Finally lanky legs sorted themselves out so that they were keeping pace. Running the best they could back to the house. 

It had been quiet as they stumbled up the stairs Niall trying his best to quiet the younger. “Shh, Harry stop shouting.”

“I'm not shouting.. was I shouting?“

“Still are.” Laughing as they got into his room thankful he didn't share. As a hand was guiding him against a lean chest and dark wine lips. Locked in the most glorious of battles even if the British boy had lacked skill he made up for it with enthusiasm. 

Not recalling when he had landed on his back, curly headed boy on top of him, alcohol loosing it's fuzzy edge. “Whats next.. do we h-have to..I've only don-”

“Woah, no. We don't.” His hand was up cupping onto the younger's cheek. Eyes wide since he wasn't even sure that had been an option. As he shook his head. 

“Good.. because I just want to keep kissing you.” His voice had been quiet but it didn't hid the slur in his voice. As Niall a self proclaimed seasoned professional of drinking was already feeling quite sober. To sober, not wanting to take advantage of his closest friend… hoping after tonight they could still be friends. 

“Hun, I think we should stop... “ hand up cupping full cheeks. Trying to take control, but to mainly stop himself for wanting more. 

His eyes opened a second before green, watching the worried brows push up words. “Why… am I that bad?”

“No way it's not you… but you’re really drunk. Don't want you to regret this.” Lowering his volume just down before a whisper, dragging his thumb slowly across the younger ones bottom lip.

“I won’t.”That damn pout was melting him. He had to stay strong and stand his ground. “How are you not this drunk. We had the same…” 

Smiling softly as he shrugged. “Just in me blood. How about we sleep.. “ Trying to lighten the tone since there was a hunger in Harry's eyes and it called to him. Wanting to let the first year have his way. 

“But..” Harry's voice was soft and worried, giving in to one last kiss. “I don't want to stop kissing you. What if you don't want to kiss me tomorrow.”

Pulling back just enough to get a good view of the tanned features. “We'll talk about it tomorrow. Ok? Let's try to sleep, yeah?” Swallowing back the lump in his throat since he had wanted to wake up to kiss the brunette but there was a feeling that the once married man wouldn't want him.

“Alright.. I gotta pee” The skeptical tone had Niall worried but he was laughing laying back against the pillows as he watched the other stumble up and toward the door. 

Sighing as he listened to feet leave down the hall, rubbing his eyes hard with the base of his palms and groaning. Why had he let the cute boy with the curls kiss him. It took a few long seconds before he was finally up and heading to the closet grabbing the sleeping bag. 

Shaking it out onto the floor, stepping over the slipper fabric on his way to plug his dying phone in. Checking the lit screen that had a few texts from the brothers asking stupid questions like where he was or if he was ‘cool’. They could wait for tomorrow as he set an alarm and left the phone on the ground beside the plug. 

Harry hadn't come back yet as he went to see if he was doing OK in the washroom. Knocking on the communal bathroom door, not waiting long before the door opened. “Hey.. how you doing?”

“Good, had to wait.” Listening to Harry, nodded and smiling taking a step in. It was the only thing about living in the frat was the few bathrooms the only one’s on the floor where single use. Watching him use his finger to brush his teeth. Moving in to do the same, not minding the other lingering till he was done. 

Feeling small as the tallers arm wrapped around his shoulder as they walked down the hall. Turning into the bedroom, breaking off to go to the set out sleeping bag. 

“You're not sleeping down there.” 

Attention grabbed from the boy pulling his shirt over his head, trying not to linger on the view of softer sides. “Why not?” 

“Because your bed is big enough for us to squeeze on.” Eyeing Harry as he stepped back into his space, soft hands taking his and pulling him away from the sleeping bag and to the foot of the bed. 

“Harry my bed is tiny.” Niall didn't mean for it to come out as a whine but he really worried the other didn't understand they would be up right against each other. 

“Good. Means you can hold onto me so I don't fall out of it.” biting the inside of his lips to stop the smile from pulling his lips apart. He couldn't argue that point as he grabbed the lights and followed suit, stepping from the night’s clothes and leaving his shirt somewhere on the floor. Climbing into bed with the brunette. 

Laying face to face for a few minutes just in their boxers. Running a sun kissed hand over a bare shoulder making his skin look pale in comparison, not sure what they were talking about since his eyes were already starting to close. Becoming so comfortable even if they it was a tight squeeze on the bed. “I'm gonna turn.” Waking up at the sudden movement as the other turned over, blinking but the disruption wasn't over. As an arm flung back and hit him in the hip. Making a dejected noise startled by the erratic flailing. 

“Where are you?” Quickly grabbing the assaulting limb, lacing fingers together. Smiling as the brunette pulled the arm over being made to lean in against his bare back, taking in a deep breath as he held him.

“Comfy?” Asking quietly against the new shoulder pillow making himself comfortable. It had to be ok, just for tonight. Trying to savor every second of this since he didn't want to forget what it felt to have the younger in his arms. 

\--

The throbbing in his head was unreal. Nothing like the first time, rough couldn't even explain the feeling. The light in the room had felt like staring right into the sun. Taking long blinks till he could adjust to the brightness. 

At first it had just been a struggle trying to not feel like dying as he rolled from his stomach to his back realizing he was alone in the bed. Frowning as he pulled back the covers, searching for any sign of the blond. Eyes landing in a bottle of Gatorade and two small pills, gladly reaching for then as he sat up. The sleeping bag hadn't been moved so he hadn't dreamed about lying in bed with Niall. 

Not sure when he finally got up, as he found the heap of clothes his clothing. Pulling on his pants from the night before, wanting nothing more then a shower and to go back to sleep. Niall hadn’t come back into the bedroom since harry and been awake making the curly haired boy worried. Maybe he was waiting for him to get out. 

Heading downstairs, walking to the kitchen no one in the usual spot, then to the living room. A few guys from the night before sitting on the couches textbooks open but heads turned watching the game on the flat screen hung on the wall. 

“Hey, you guys see Ni?” Standing at the back if one of the couches holding the half full bottle. Back to chewing the inside of his lip.

“Ah, yeah. Practice or something then library some study group at 11.” 

“Thanks.” He didn't stay for a commercial break. Just heading out of the frat, it felt warm out. To warm for black jeans, heading toward his dorm as he checked his phone only realizing now it was dead. The campus was huge to large for him to run around trying to find the blond. As he left for his own dorm.

His phone had charged enough while he had showered and dressed for the day. Waiting on a text back, he wanted to see the older and it was eating at him. The thought that the blond wouldn't be interested in him, but he had never felt this way about anyone. 

Sitting trying to take his mind off, yet memories flashed into his head from the night before. Kissing mainly, what if it didn't feel this good sober, it had to feel the same. His heart felt like it could jump out of his chest, trying to focus on the laptop out in front of him with the start of an essay. 

The table buzzed, flipping the phone over. ‘1 received message’ flashed on the lit screen. Sliding it unlocked, getting up seconds later stepping into a pair of worn sneakers. Out the door and heading to where the message read.

From : Nialler @ 1:46 PM  
Wrapping up at the library. Walking to grab a coffee. Meet me at the usual place?

Letting his mind go off in a million different directions, long legs taking strides at a feverish pace. Trying his best not to run, but hell he wanted to see Niall, had been wanting to since he woke up. Taking the path he could do blindfolded racing past with nothing in his sights but a certain rower. Leaping over a set of low bushes on the outside of the cafe, lining the sitting area. Bright in the mid afternoon sunlight, eyes locking on the gym bag and gray sweater covered shoulder. Faced away from him chatting to a similarly dressed girl with a red pony tail. 

Trying not to draw too much attention, but with his eyes looking at the backwards cap logo staring right at him. Causing him to run into the patio chair, jostling with it as he tried to fix it out of his path causing it to scratch against the pavement. If he hadn’t had the older’s attention he sure did now. 

Finally looking up to watch the blond just looking over his shoulder, then turning from the redhead. Holding two large to go cups, raising an amused eyebrow. Blushing hard Harry tried his best to sort himself out as he walked up, hearing them exchange a quick goodbye. Sheepishly smiling when the blonds attention was fully on him. The coffee cup held out ‘for me?’ getting a nod as he took the cup, hands grazing one another. Feeling like the biggest jolt through his body ‘cheers’.

“Legged it here did’ya?” There was a tired smile, and darker circles but even with that the older looked really good. 

“Yeah, was really wanting a coffee…” That was stupid, as he looked away feeling awkwardly embarrassed, as he glanced back trying not to smile like an idiot but he could feel the corner of his lips starting to peek up. “The guys said you had training this morning.. When was that?” 

“6:30, Yeah sorry about that. At least my alarm didn’t wake you up.” Waiting for the blond to step closer, wondering if it would be weird to just lean in and kiss him. Would that be too much too soon. Not knowing what to do since he had never felt this forthright. 

Realizing he hadn’t said anything to that as he nodded quickly. “Yeah, I was out. That’s so early though… Do you usually practice that early?” 

“Yeah, every Saturday and most weekdays depending.” Niall shrugged so carelessly, but that was insane to Harry. Drinking till who knows what time and getting up to train your body. And it wasn’t like the frat house didn’t have a packed events calendar. 

“Jesus, that’s early. Your nuts, when do you find time to sleep?” Trying to make the other smile bigger, as he took a smaller step closer. 

“You know, never.” A small chuckle, before a hand was bringing up the large cup to soft pink lips. 

Grinning like a moron, he couldn’t even hid it. Feeling a stutter coming up as he tried his best to get out quickly what he wanted to say. “S-so. About last night I-I” 

“Oh, Yeah.” There was a pause, but it was just seconds too short for him to get anything in before Niall was standing straighter. “Hey listen, Don’t worry about it.” 

Tilting his head a bit as brows creased. “W-what? N-no, Ni I-”

“Harry, really it’s fine. Chill, everyone experiments in Uni.” That wasn’t fair, the blond wasn’t giving him a second to explain how he felt. 

Speaking up once more, while gray sweater arms crossed over the school initialed sweater. “Ni. I-I really wasn’t ex-” 

“Don’t stress, Harry. We made out… Not like we have to get marrie-oh shit, I didn’t mean to be insensitive.” Niall’s cheeks bright red as he looked like he had crossed some sort of line. But this was all stuff Harry could handle. 

“Stop, Niall. I know that, I wanted to say I had a good time. And if you wanted… Maybe we could do that again.” Trying to put himself out there, and really hoping he wasn’t wrong about this feeling. “Without the drinking?” 

“You really want to?” A sweetness in Niall’s voice was something he wanted to keep hearing not the sudden closed off stance and step back. “No Harry, I’ve done this already. “ Taking a step forward to counteract the backward step from the retreating one. A hand up to stop him from stepping closer. “I’ve dated straight boys before that think that this is what they want. Then I get too invested. Too attached and you’ll dump me when you’re done rebelling or whatever shit.” 

“Niall I wouldn’t do that, you’re my best friend.” Stopping but he wanted to reach out and take the same hand that he had held a month ago, the same from last night. Pull him in and tell him he wasn’t sure he was like every other straight guy. That he wasn’t the same since he meet Niall.

“I want to believe that Harry. But I’ve learned my lesson.” The next step he didn’t follow after. Just staying still, this hurt and if it was just an experimental phase like Niall was saying it shouldn’t have stung. “I gotta get to my next study group. I hope I didn’t just fuck everything up Harry. I want to be your friend, and maybe if i wasn’t so.. Baggagy we could have given it a go.” 

“I.. I’m still your friend Ni, this doesn’t change us.” Talking quietly since now he was in even worse pain at the idea of losing Niall’s friendship as well as the chance to prove to him he was ready for this. He wasn’t just some asshole who would treat him like that. 

“Good.. Text me later ok? I gotta run.” The blond’s look could only be summed up as worried with a hit of somber. “I’m sorry Harry.” Nodding his head as he watched the blond start to walk back toward the path on the other side of the patio. 

Harry had two choices, stand here and watch the blond walk away or... “HEY NI.” Yelling out suddenly not sure what was coming over him something that seemed to be recurring. Waiting till the attention was on him, not just from the blond but the few people milling about. Watching the blond hold up his hands to ask a silent ‘what’. 

“I’m not giving up that easy.” Shouting as he smiled brightly. If he could rely on how quickly the blonds head dipped, he was sure he saw the flash of a smile and red cheeks. He’d take that as a good sign. He couldn’t accept defeat, he had spent too long not listening to his heart and just letting others tell him how he felt. Never feeling so excited after being turned down, not that he had much experience in pursuing anyone. Finally time he took control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends,   
> Thank you for reading the next chapter! its a long one! some how i just couldn't stop it ^_^ hope you enjoy thank you for the kudos and comments. I love replying to them all!!!!   
> See you next week ^-^


	5. Things we think are wrong.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry doesn't know how to finish what he's started, while Niall struggles listening to his heart or his brain. Maybe he shouldn't be listening to either of them and just go with it.

A pale hand reached out from navy blankets. Quickly grabbing at the flashing, loud alarmed phone. Doing his best to swipe it to snooze, dropping the device back on the bed and resting back against the warm body holding him. The hunger being tortuously built up by the feeling of morning wood rested against his backside. Wanting to ignore his brain and just be with the curly haired boy, as he pushed himself flush back against the lanky body and fought the need to also fall back asleep. Unsuccessfully a dry throat, cracking from a sleep voice sounding against his shoulder. “Ni, come on. Wake up.” Alarm flashing again beeping loudly. 

“No..” Groaning softly, he didn’t want to move from this spot. To feel responsible for already breaking his stand on not doing what he was doing with Harry. “What if I said I want to stay here with you this morning.” Whispering softly turning his shoulders and head a bit to look back at the dark outlined figure. 

“But you don’t want that.” Though it sounded a bit dismissive it still had the sleep drenched voice that sounded so sweet coming from the younger. 

“What if I do..” Reaching his arm across his own body and pushing fingers into bed tousled curls. Feeling the sudden dip beside him. Tanned arm still under his head, propping up the thinner body. Causing Niall to roll into him more, flat on his back looking up. Reaching out his other hand to cup the boys cheek. 

“Then stay..” Pulling Harry down, but it wasn’t the brunette pushing past boundaries it was himself. Always wanting to be closer always wanting to snuggle tighter, almost saying yes every time he asked him to go for a date. “But you have practice…’s more important.” Pouting as their foreheads touched and he knew he was going too far again. 

“Ok.. Ill get up.” Taking a few more seconds before pulling himself out from under Harry, awkwardly getting to the tallers side of the bed. He was getting good at dressing in the dark, looking over at Harry who was now sitting up in bed, knees making peeks in the blankets and propping his head up with his fist. In the darkness he couldn’t tell if Harry was watching or not, but the gesture was still sweet. 

Shoving his foot down into the sneaker not bothering with tying it just yet. He could wait till he was out of the boys dorm room, where there was light. Checking his pockets and his gym bag for everything he needed. Just needing his phone that was still plugged into the wall side of Harry’s bed. Trying to be quiet, really he wasn’t trying to wake up the dorm mate. As he reached over the owner of the bed and grabbed at the damned phone. 

Sleepy hand on his back, seeking one last second of comfort. His heart was hammering so hard, from being dead asleep to wanting to let Harry do anything to him. Then into ‘i have to get to practice.’ Mode all in a short 15 minutes, was a lot. Maybe that’s why he wasn’t thinking when he started to pull back over the lanky legs and stopped. Pushing his hand into curly hair, wanting one last touch of soft strands. “Call me when you wake up ok?” 

“Ok.. Have good training.” Sleepy accent and not full sentences must be his weakness, not able to stop himself from pecking the younger's lips. Staying their for a seconds too long before pulling away, he couldn't get trapped by those lips. Not today when he was running late, and not ever since he was trying to do the exact opposite. 

“Go back to sleep.” Feeling the nod instead, as he finally pulled away. Alarm of his phone going off one more time. “Shit.” Trying to silence it. 

“Oh my fucking god. Can you shut the fuck up!” A very angry sounding dorm mate called from the other side of the room. “Sorry James… Sorry.. I'm going.” Stepping out into the dorm hall. “Bye Harry.” Speaking into the door before pulling it closed, hearing a very exasperated groan from the dorm mate. 

He must have looked bonkers, leaving the dorm smiling like an idiot. The opposite of a walk of shame, even if he did feel a bit shameful for spending another night with Harry and not doing anything. “Fuck, what am I doing?” Realization sobering, just as much as the cold november morning as he tied his shoes and ran toward the training center. 

 

“Where did you sleep last night?” The question cut over heavy breathing, where he had laid flat on the gym floor. Chest rising hard in a quick motion. Looking up at florissant lighting hung high, not sure what they had done to deserve a grooling indoor workout. Looking over at one of the last team members to not be heading for the showers. 

Of course the only other guy from his frat. “T, you know where. Nosey prick.” Maybe he was being brash but he was already feeling defensive and the rower was just asking a simple question. It felt loaded. 

“Thats messed up, bro.” Turning his head back from the older up to the ceiling as he sighed finally sitting up. 

Making a frustrated noise as he stood. “I know…” Falling in step as they headed toward the locker rooms. ‘that's how many nights?’ it was quiet but it didn't help the feeling of being judged. “Like not even a lot… just since sunday night...” Really hoping the jock wouldn’t be able to put the whole week together. 

“but you’re still friendzoning the guy…” Narrowing water blue eyes scolding him with a look. Trying not to sound too guilty as he mumbled quieter this time ‘i know.’ But that clearly wasn't good enough for the fellow brother, still needing to give him a talking to. “Let the poor kid take you on a date at least.” 

“It’s not that simple… I just can't say yes.” Realization dawning on him that he was keeping Harry at arms length away. Not enough to be more, but enough to show him that their was a chance. 

“Dude, you're being a tease.” The familiar click of a locker being opened beside him.

Sighing loudly as he opened his own locker wanting to bang his head on it. “Fuck… I know.” Staying quiet as he didn't move just closing his eyes breathing out before looking over at the toned chest, it wasn't awkwardly scrawny and have a funny third nipple so it was of no interest to him. “want to know something super messed up..” The eyebrow raise was all he could handle as he confessed. “I kissed him this morning.” 

“Like you made out?” The taller looked so confused like it wasn't that weird or messed up. 

“No… like a fucking ‘call me when you wake up’ kiss.” 

“Right. This shit is getting too girly for me. Man the fuck up and let the kid take you on a date.” The hand came down on his shoulder and gripped him. “We all like the damn guy, he does our dishes. Pretty sure that's some domestic gay mating call.”

“T.. that's insanely offensive. And one day when I don't have to get to a study group I'll educate you.”

“What ever bro.” The jock pulled away heading for the showers. “Just suck his dick already. Or whatever.”

Eyebrows perking up at the idea as he realized quickly where his mind was going. Groaning loudly as he let his head fall forward against the metal door. There was no way of getting him out of his head. 

His days were planned with enough time to eat and consume as much caffeine needed to get through the day. With a dash of luck getting him from one place to another. As he rushed through the paths between buildings. Fishing out his phone after glancing at it for the 100th time thinking he had felt it vibrate. Not even batting an eye as how quick the contact had been chosen. 

Phone against his ear, listening to it ring once before he could stop the idiotic smile on his lips listening to a dry sounding voice. “Hey.”

“Hey. Don't tell me i woke you up?” Free hand up gripping the should strap of the gym duffle. Holding onto anything to make sure he didn't trip. 

“No… been up for.. a bit.” It sounded like the younger was just seconds from falling asleep on the phone savoring the slow slurr. “Just this lit paper is going tits up fast.”

Chuckling quietly as he made his way toward the library. Picturing the boy sitting at his work desk, knees folded up in baggy sweats and a worn sweater that looked like he was swimming. Not able to block out the image of messy bedhead. “Well.. Maybe you could meet me for a quick coffee after my next study group before my afternoon study group?”

“I'm starting to become very concerned on the levels of caffeine in your body. And the amount you sleep.” Niall just smiled and shrugged making an amused noise. ‘You'll just have to keep on eye on me…’ there it goes, it was like he couldn't stop himself from making his voice sweeter with flirty inflections. 

“I will.” Even on the phone he could hear the certainty in Harry's voice and again he was willing to go against his brain and just let himself fall for Harry. “I can't make it though… have to finish this.” 

It sucked, the feeling that welled up not being able to see the taller even for 5 minutes. “I get it.” replying maybe too quickly as he shifted the bag around his shoulder as he walked up toward a coffee stand outside the library. “How pissed was James?”

“fucking rung me out..” There was a groan on the other end and he could see it clear as day the other stretching from the snuggled position. 

“Guess it’s mine tonight huh..:” Thanking the usual barista at the stand who already had his order ready. “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.” Between trying not to be rude to the server, and try to decipher what Harry was trying to say while yawning. 

“Not sure if I can make it by..” Faulting for a second as he nodded, really trying his best to play it cool. 

“Oh..” It clearly wasn’t going to well, as he walked around the large building towards the main entrance. 

“I-It’s just this paper is taking longer than I thought. And really.. Once I’m there I won’t be focused on the damn thing.” 

Trying not to bite his lip or fiddle too much and drop his coffee, feeling like he was sounded just as disappointed as he felt. “Right.. I mean I wont bug you. I’ll keep really quiet and I’m sure I have more work I could be doing.” 

“I..” Niall could hear the thought in the younger’s voice as he waited for Harry, stopping outside the library and just sat against the railings at the stairs. “Why not.” 

“Awesome. If you want, head over early I’ll be there.. Early afternoon if nothing goes to long.” Fiddling now with the sleeve of the paper cup. 

“I might take you up on that.. Don’t want to be here when James gets back just in case he’s still pissed.” 

“Cool. Great. This is awesome.” Great he was a talking moron as he felt the goofy smile on his lips, now excited to get to the frat house and spend an uninterrupted night with Harry. “I should go.. “ 

There was a soft chuckle on the other end that had pink creep up on Niall’s cheeks as he felt a bit embarrassed at his lack of cool. “Go, study. See you later.” Rushing off the phone so he could take his own advice and try to get anything to stick. 

\---

Finishing his last sentence of the essay just after hanging up with Niall. Trying his best to not be distracted by wanting to touch his lips at the thought of that morning. It hadn't been a total lie it was a poorly written essay but he had just wanted to get it out of the way. The day was going as close to planned as he could have expected. Not counting the chewing out he got from his room mate. 

As he closed the laptop packing it away in his backpack. What he had in the works wouldn't have been as big if some of the brothers hadn't stopped him on the way out earlier in the week. Claiming they needed to help him, operation bring the date to Niall was in full swing. Changing and throwing anything he would need for later in the night. 

It hadn't been met with his challenges as he stood on the back lawn. Tapping an anxious foot, arms crossed over his chest thinking. “It's too cold isn't it?” starting to chew the inside of his lip as he looked at the table then back at the tall jock and group standing beside him. 

A few chirps from the frat boys agreeing. As he sighed it in frustration. “If it's going to get that cold tonight then I just wasted all of your guy's time… what do I do.. I wanted it to be perfect.” Really unsure now that if what he was doing would be such a good idea.

“Come on man. Let's just do it inside the same way.” A larger hand clapped him on the shoulder jolting him back. Nodding as they got into fast work. It had turned out easier with all the first years helping and Niall's friends enthusiasm to make it happen. 

Judging by the texts he was getting from Niall the blond was still unaware. And a bit annoyed at the brothers for asking him to stop and pick up white candles for what he thought was some kind of hazzing for the new guys. 

Even if it had been all part of the plan just a reason to get him out of the house a bit longer. That didn't stop him from being less enthusiastic on text just to mess with him so he had no idea in the slightest. Messaging back a quick “seriously”. As he stepped back from the dining room, cleaned and set up with the nicer plates and actual glasses not red plastic cups. 

The loud ring made him smile as he reached for his phone moving away from the few standing about. “Hey.” Knowing already who it was. 

“Hey are you mad?” The voice on the other side sounded confused he could picture the older gripping the strap on his bag. 

“No… Not really I've just been waiting Ni. I've been here for hours and I have a lot to focus on.” That wasn't a total lie. 

“But I thought you were doing your work at mine.. “ 

“Been trying. But it sounds like they are setting up for some party so it hasn't really been the quietest place to study... “

“Well I’m almost back maybe 15 minutes.. 5 if I steal some kids bike.” He could actually hear the rings of small bike bells and shouting of children. 

It took most of anything Harry had not to laugh at that. As he quickly checked the time. “I dunno..it's already almost 6 Ni, think I might just gunna head out.” Turning toward the kitchen needing to check and make sure none of the guys had eaten their dinner that had just arrived. 

There was a long pause on the other end, like gears turning he could hear the slightest struggle in the olders voice. “Harry.. it's been a long day I just wanna chill with you. Even if it is just watching you study.” 

If he wasn't mistaken he could hear the olders breathing pick up slightly. Trying to comment on it but the blond was quicker. “If not I have headphones or ear plugs. I'll help you write it.. just wait please. Be there in 7.” 

Blinking when the phone call was ended abruptly. Looking toward the closest frat bro to him. A tall athletic guy named Todd. “How much longer we got?”

“He said seven… I think he's running.” Even saying the words gave him such a dumb smile. As he put his phone away wanting to make sure everything was ready. 

“Told you he liked you.” Todd’s tone reassuring as he turned away to check on the boxes on the counter making sure that no one was getting sticky fingers. 

 

Ears perking up where he stood dressed in something other than sweat pants and a hoodie. But maybe he was too dressed up in the jeans and dorky button down. It was too late to find something else as he heard the front door open.

Thankful that the dining room was out of sight to the entrance. Hearing a muffled rushed voice “have you seen Harry.” A reply back that sounded like they had him walking right to him.

All Harry could feel where his palms sweating since he really was putting his neck out there and it was all starting to rack his nerves, but he wanted more of the morning, more reasons to keep Niall on the same bed and not share just over thought kisses. 

“Ha-arry.” watching the blond turn the corner and come to a stop his face he pulled had been priceless. Confused blue eyes, adorable tilt in his head like a lost puppy. 

“Hey.” Taking a few steps forward from the side of the table. 

“Whats all this..?” There was still a confused look on the older who stood there clearly dumbfounded. “I've never seen this room so clean before.” Still sounding breathless from his run.

Laughing softly that could have come out quite awkwardly as he finally took in the sight of the candles in his hand as he smiled. “I can take those if you'd like.” watching Niall blink quickly before realizing what was in his hand and passing it over, as Harry stepped even closer to take them. Finding their holders and setting them on the table. 

“A-ah.” 

“Here we go.” mumbling to himself softly as he finished lighting the candles. “Ok.” standing straight up as he turned to Niall and offered a small smile. “I know you said no to going on a date with me… but thought I'd try one last time.” 

There was a thoughtful noise coming from Niall who looked less lost but now had his hand up playing with the strap of his bag. Harry still unsure if that was a good thing. “Will you stay in on a date with me?” 

Trying his best as he stood there, really hoping that he wasn’t just being extra weird and creepy. Though the flush appearing on Niall’s cheeks the surprise looking like it was finally leaving from his face. Watching as a sweet bashful smile spread over and the awkward shift of the blonds body, unable to believe the nod that was coming from the frat boy. “Course.” 

Breaking into a massive goofy smile, all doubt that this could have been a bad idea now leaving. 

“Can I go get changed first.” Niall looked incredible adorable already but he just nodded. ‘Yeah.’ waiting till he could hear footsteps heading up the stairs before an eruption from the kitchen. All the brothers who helped finally emerging from their hiding spots. 

It was chaos as the young house members quickly grabbing coats and booze from the kitchen. Harry a bit distracted while he followed them to the door. Watching them leave before the voice grabbed his attention.“Where are they going?” 

“to some delta...omega...alph- crash a party.” Shrugging as he looked up the stairs watching the blond take the steps down to him. He looked good in skinny jeans and a less dorky dress shirt that actually fit him and wasn't a few sizes too large. 

“oh” Catching blue eyes one the blond finally looked up from the last step. Standing right in front of him. “So…” 

Realizing quickly he hadn't moved from his spot and was just staring. “right. This way dinner awaits.” Wishing he could be a bit more cool. As he lead into the dining room cleaned and set for dinner. Candles still flicking with small flames.

“This is cute Harry… I wouldn't have expected it.” returning a smile to the pink cheeked jock. As he pulled out his seat trying not to chuckle when the blond got confused before taking the offered chair. “You’re so dorkey..”

“I mean, had to get your attention somehow..” Moving away from the table, looking over his shoulder. “One second..” Ducking into the kitchen quickly and grabbing the pizza box, and two beers balancing it all fairly well. As he took a deep breath and walked back in. Offering a shrug “Thought a roast dinner may be overkill, if you had said no.” Taking careful steps over so he could place the box down between plates, and cracked open the bottles to pour a beer each. Knowing the Irishmen wouldn’t refuse a drink even if it was mainly for him to calm his nerves. 

“I wouldn’t have said no to roast.” Watching a sun kissed hand reach forward and grab the slice of pizza. “Pizza will do though, cheers.” Looking up just in time to catch blue eyes giving him a wink, causing him to choke on the fizzy beer. 

“W-welcome.” Turning to cough it out, of course he would do something stupid. ‘You ok?’ The voice filled with concern but he couldn’t look over just yet with the watering in his eyes as he swallowed thickly. “Yeah, fine.” 

It felt like it took ages to stop doing things that felt embarrassing from choking to almost knocking over Niall’s beer when he reached forward to take an olive from the others plate. Not talking enough or talking too much. It was like he wasn’t talking to his best friend, it was like convincing him not to go on another date. It felt like he had gone from this was going to be amazing, to not able to look at Niall fully after the wink. Shutting down a bit since he had put a lot on this date to make it perfect for him. 

Sighing softly as he got up clearing the table, they hadn’t talked to much. Just about their day, something they would have done on a regular day with maybe a bit more eye contact. It had felt like he had tried and failed, as he offered a half smile grabbing the plates and cups. Blowing out candles before nodding his head toward the kitchen. The least he could do after making Niall sit through the world’s most boring and lamest date, was clean up his dishes before he left. 

The water covered up the sound of feet hitting the hardwood following after him. Standing there waiting for the water to heat up before he heard the throat clear. Startled but not turning since the house was empty, it was just them. “No chance there’s more pizza?” 

Of course their was, Harry wasn’t stupid to just get one pizza. The jock was a tank it’s something he enjoyed having the other almost perpetually hungry. It made him feel useful since he wasn’t great expressing his fondness. Food had been the next step before the surprise date, the late night study runs for fast food or to the 24 hour market to grab snacks. 

“Yeah, I made sure to put it in the fridge for breakfast.. I know how much you like cold pizza.” Stating it matter of factly, like Niall had actually asked the dumbest question. It was so obvious, he wasn’t dumb enough to not think of every aspect was he? Well everything except actually trying to talk to Niall on their date. 

Their was a feeling of arms pushing along his waist, and the sudden weight of a body resting against his back. He hadn’t realized that Niall was standing so close behind him. Thinking he had been by the fridge. 

“Don’t keep cleaning.. “ The voice was quiet against his shoulder, feeling a warm cheek against his shoulder though the thin cheap fabric of his shirt. ‘Hmm?’ Raising his brow even though the blond couldn’t see it. “Make the guys do it tomorrow..You should take me to bed.” The soft breath between his sentence tickled the hairs behind Harry’s ear as he pushed back the feeling of wanting to shiver.’I didn’-’ Not fast enough before being intruped. “I’m really tired…” 

Niall did sound tired, as Harry put down the only cup he had made it too. And turned off the tap. Taking the rag hanging up against the sink and drying his hands. All the while trying to calm his heartbeat as he finally turned in the olders arms and stepped forward, feeling hands run along his sides leaving a trace as the started to fall away. Catching the rowers fingertips as he didn’t bother look at him, taking a step then another. 

Actually leading, the blond staying a step back as curly haired brunette lead the way up now familiar stairs of the old frat house. Not looking back since he didn’t know what to expect if he did. Hoping it was the same thing he was feeling, praying hard the older couldn’t tell how his palms were starting to feel sweaty. 

Moving into the bedroom, the hand finally leaving his as he turned to watch the shorter figure close the door. The only thing lighting up the room was the usual bedside lamp, throwing a soft yellow glow over the blonds belongings. Throwing a sweet hue over the blonds fitted dress shirt, watching Niall move towards him not making eye contact. Really wishing he would, longing to see the soft blue eyes and suntouched crinkles around his eyes. 

Green gems glued to the hands raising up, staying as still as possible while Niall’s fingers worked slowly on the buttons of his shirt. Blond head so close to his, as he leaned forward enough to rest his forehead against the soft locks. Breathing slowly to calm, himself feeling the fingers working off his buttons on the oversized shirt. Shivering as cool air hit his back, the second the shirt was pushed off narrow shoulders. 

Working himself up to say something, the words catching behind his teeth as fingertip’s splayed out along his abdomen. Dragging low toward his hips where the pair of straight legged jeans hung on his slender hips. This felt more intimate than drunk kisses, this felt like 2 am waking up to arms wrapped around him. As he finally moved his arms reaching out to grip the back of Niall’s elbows, wanting something sturdy to hold onto. 

Nothing could have prepared him for the softness of sober lips against his collarbone. Or how hands expertly had his pants off in seconds. This should be him doing these things to Niall, but the olders hands felt steady, sure of their movements whereas his would have been shaky and awkward. Another press of pink lips, and a chill of air touching bare thighs. 

The nudge to step back, freeing his feet from confines of old jeans tall lanky legs hit the back edge of the bed promptly sitting down looking up to finally catch sea blues that had a look he hadn’t seen before. Locking his gaze on the pink colour in flushed cheeks, and the way his hair feel forward off his forehead. Finally taking his turn to unbutton the fitted shift. One button at a time, exposing pale skin in comparison to his own. Hand stark against creamy skin, watching the sweet sight unvale in front of him. 

Eyeing the way the older’s chest rose and fell in a rhythm that matched his own. This isn’t where he thought the night would have headed. Repeating the olders motion even if his hands slightly trembled when he undid the skinny jeans. Eyeing every muscle, lean body moving back letting the button top slid down into a heap. A shy smile finally lifting Niall's cheeks, a shake of blond hair listening to the older whine softly. 

“I’ve gotten undressed in front of you so many times.. You’d think it would be easy.” Smiling back, deciding he liked how red the blond's cheeks became, watching him bend at the waist and wiggle out of the jeans. Also deciding he hadn’t ever seen anything as hot, quickly looking away since that still felt foreign to think like that. 

“I think you’re doing great.” Mumbling softly as he dared to peek, biting the inside of dark pink lips at the sight of the athletic man in just underwear standing in front of him. 

“Lay down.. I’ll be right there.” 

The tone wasn’t overly sexual, there was no hint the blond wanted to go further which was a nice feeling since there was no way he was ready. Even if his body was more than wanting, his head wasn’t there yet. Not past the doubt and worry of going against what he was taught. Sliding back on the bed pulling the covers over his legs and leaving a bit of the bed open. 

It was a tight squeeze when they finally settled down. He had been turned making sure any alarm was off since sunday was the only day they could both sleep in. “Harry.” His name sounding sweet coming from over his shoulder. Dropping the phone back in its spot and turning over. Small bed creaking as they shifted, ending up chest to chest. Just inches from one another’s noses. “Hey..” Letting out a soft chuckle as he moved his hand to its usual home on Niall's hip under the covers. 

“Hi.” He could get use to this, more so than before, as he mapped every slope and turn on milky skin. Hardly showing how long he spent in the sun. Everything had gone quiet, the light finally turned off. Not speaking a word just letting the sounds of slowing breath mix. 

“Harry.” It came so quietly, he was so close to sleep that he wasn’t even sure he had heard it. 

“Yeah?” Speaking out just as quietly. 

That silence again, the kind that wasn’t uneasy but begged to be broken. “I think.. no, I thought you were mad on the phone.” 

“I wasn’t.” Quickly piping in eyes opening up only to see the hardly noticeable outline of Niall’s features. 

“Shh..” Fingers were pressing into his chest, kneading like a cat before pushing flat spreading warmth. Nodding quickly as he waited.

“I didn’t think you being mad would be something that i would ever…” His voice lead off, stuck in thought and all Harry could do was lay still. “Worry? about...Maybe thats what im trying to say.” 

When he didn’t explain, the brunette couldn’t just pretend to wait patiently brows knitted together. “Worry?” 

“Yeah.. Like I worried I’d made you mad. All I could think about how insensitive I was being to you… How unfair.” It sounded confused and worried coming from the always confident jock. 

Trying his best to comfort him, he didn’t like the alien sounding tone. “You’re not really Ni. I get it.” 

“No.. I mean, you might get it.. But hear me out.” Hoping the blond could feel him nod, since he wanted to hear everything Niall wanted to explain. “It’s like, I’m so use to being hurt. So use to it, that I don’t think i realized how much you actually liked me. Like I knew you had some kind of attraction, but I just thought if i held out it would fade away.” 

It strung only slightly to hear the other group him unfairly with any other guy who had used him. But he guessed it hadn’t been that different from thinking that Niall couldn’t have been normal once he realized he wasn’t straight. 

“I just want to say sorry if I made this date lousy for you.. I'm really sorry, I just froze.. You were- are so cute, and sweet.” A shaky sigh captivated his attention as he pulled the blond against him even more. Half worried the blond would tell him to go, to say Harry wasn’t the one for him, but another part was anticipating hearing the words he had wanted to hear since he had first kissed Niall. It had felt like ages ago even if it had only been weeks. 

“I like you, Harry. I really really like you. And I’m scared to feel that way about you.. “ He could hear the pain and unease in the small voice. It was making his heart beat harder in his chest, to the point where he was sure Niall could feel it. “I just, I’m sorry I ruined our date by not saying anything..” 

“Ni, shut up.” Not the most graceful way to tell someone to stop talking but it worked well enough. ‘What?’ It was incredibly adorable the dejected voice and slight unfairness that came from his lips. 

“Sorry, but stop talking. I-I don’t think you ruined it, I’m fairly sure the fact that I couldn’t even look at you the entire time probably fucked me over.” Stopping to really process what he was about to say. 

“I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t like you.. I wouldn’t be second guessing everything I’ve ever been told if I didn’t think you’d be more than someone to experiment with.” Bold in his movements as he moved his hand from the curve of the blonds lower back up along his glorious shoulders pushing into his hair. “I think you’re funny, and sweet… and really good looking. You’re the complete package.” 

There hadn’t been enough alcohol in the single beer to cloud his judgement. They hadn’t been up all night dancing and partying. They had been close enough to sober, and had just slept in the same bed for a full week. Nothing was making him say these words, no reason to pretend he didn’t think of the blond in all ways possible. 

Lips found his, with the lack of light on the small bed. No push to do more, just an achingly soft touch of silken lips mixing. Teasing in how they explored, fully aware of how much of each other’s space they were in. Even being married he had never felt this connected, this bare for someone to discover every part of him. It filled him with adrenaline and a polarizing sense of calm, as if this was where he was always meant to be. That all the stars aligned for him to be at this exact place with this one person. “Woah.” Awestruck as they finally parted from the kiss, lips resting close enough to meet again without much effort. 

The feeling made him so dizzy and smile so hard, feeling the ‘I know’ from full lips rather than hearing it. This made sense, how could it be wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thank you for waiting for this. It took some time, and I've posted on my tumblr (dblwrites) about why. But thank you for coming back and reading and showing it love. Im changing a few things up, i think i wont do present chapters every time. But then again i might, but i think i have more i want to write about them then can match up with the time line ive set. 
> 
> Will see how it goes, hopefully next week ill be back to my usual schedule! Thank you for understanding.


	6. A lesson in hand holding.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When PDA is on the board will Harry follow through or step back.

Bounding up the second flight of stairs so close he could already picture being curled up on the couch for rest of the night. Keys still in hand as he got down the hall getting to the door. 

Taking the step in bag just about to hit the floor in the small entrance. “keep your shoes on!” The voice came from the bedroom, lifting his head from where he had been looking down seconds from toeing off sandel’s.

“Ok.” Smiling seeing his other half in half work clothes on top, but bottom had shorts and no socks. 

“wanna come to the corner store? I need ice cream.” The blond b-lined it straight for Harry. Arms already open and waiting as the blond head slotted right against his shoulder. 

“That bad of a day huh?” Hair brushed his jaw as the smallers head nodded. 

“You have no idea. Just a lot to do before we leave Saturday.” Voice came muffled hints of sleep mixing in. Taking the closeness to stroke a line down soft fabric of the button down. “I've been home for maybe 5 minutes.”

Frowning softly as he listened, working his hand up to stroke soft locks. “Let's go then. And when we get back I'll start on dinner.” 

Following after sandal clad feet, listening to the slap echo through the stair well. Pulling sunglasses off his head as soon as they hit bright sunshine. Speeding up to casually scoop sun-kissed fingers into his, lacing and swinging the linked hands. 

It came so easily, to fall into step. Bumping shoulders as he listened to the long sounding day. They had worked so hard to make their schedule work. It was more than he could ask for in a partner, as they walked through the chimed door heading right to the large glass topped deep freeze. 

Being pulled to stand beside as he looked over the fun coloured ice lollies. Pointing a few out listening to the light banter as he laughed a hand hooking his hip idly. Being pulled in right behind the curve of a perky backside. Hooking his chin on familiar shoulder nuzzling the sweet spot between neck and shoulder. Liking the hand gripping his hip as if any second he would step away. That longing sense of always wanting to be connected. 

Raising a brow then the shoulder was no longer holding him up. Watching the blond bend at the waist sliding the door open and reaching in for an ice cream bar. Smirking as he pushed hip his forward the lovely gasp audible for maybe more than just his ears which was fine with him. 

“Harry, stop.. I'm gonna fall in.” From smirk to dorky grin, pulling back to let the shorter back up. Watching the spin of shoulders getting forearms against his chest pushing him back a few inches. Getting a tongue out and a laugh. “Ass…. Which one should I get?” Two option in hand, one multi coloured ice lolly and one chocolate coated ice cream.

“Both.” Leaning back in to take over the space he was pushed out of, pretending to bite through the package. “Share.” It hadn’t meant to result in the shorters blue eyes meeting his, or the dip of his own. Meeting lips in the center, playfully pulling his lips back enjoying the sound of want on pink lips. 

“Ok.” Cutting off the voice as he got in a proper full kiss. Letting their lips mix hands gripping hips keeping them still. 

The sound of a throat clearing had Harry pulling back, sheepishly smiling at the shop owner. “sorry, Jeff.” Listening to the smothered snicker from red cheeks pushed against their usual spot. 

Pulling out a $5 grinning hard as they finally left. Hands falling back into place, voice sweet in his ear as they stopped at the crosswalk. Stealing a bite from the frozen treat. Leading the way into the building holding the door open, though he had ulterior motives. Watching the soft bounce of a round backside in tight shorts, patting at a perky ass to a superatic beat. 

Surprised yelp and loud laughs echoing in the stairwell. Rushing after quickened footsteps, wrapping arms around clothed shoulders at when they reached their level. “Harry your so annoying.” The others voice breathless holding back chuckles. 

Swaying them back and forth as they walked down the hallway. Hoping that he could do anything to bring a smile to his partners lips, one that reached blue eyes. Standing back as a hand gripped his not stopping in the kitchen, being pulled straight to the small living room couch. 

“tired?” Asking quietly as he pulled legs over his lap no space between them, large bite being taken from the ice cream bar. A shrug and a nod, making him feel guilty. 

\----

Dating was the term Niall was using loosely at the moment. Walking with a large group coming back from a training session. Harry had been sweet coming to meet him after. Though you could never have known they were more then friends, as he watched the taller walking up ahead laughing with a few girls from the team. 

Never the one to be jealous since this isn't what the feeling was. Trying not to keep flicking his gaze to the back of the scruffy curls. It felt like nothing had changed since they had been doing things only with each other, but he couldn’t say it was a relationship. It just seemed like Harry didn’t want to parade him around, keeping things quiet. 

It rubbed him the wrong way, feeling slightly dejected in the lack of contact. Maybe he shouldn’t have been reading so hard into it. Letting his imagination run away with the idea. It wasn't like the Brit was that awful to date. They spent a lot of time together, spent the last few weeks in November together. Even when finals prep was starting they made a reason to see one another. 

In private was when arms would wrap around him, kisses where abundant. It couldn't have been the younger being anti pda, he was married they surely had to have done what Harry wasn't doing with him. Frowning as he stayed out of any conversation that surrounded him and just felt like pining over someone he already had. 

Hearing the sound of joyful laughter and the clap of hands. Alright it was eating at him, yes they laughed but it became less and less in public. A reserved Harry outside around him. But a slowly growing confident guy when they were in the quiet of the room. 

Shaking his head, he needed to stop obsessing. Needed to talk to the brunette instead of trying to find ways that lead him to think Harry didn't want him. 

Splitting from the group of girls and crew members heading off in different directions. Following after a now erratic gesture conversation from Todd and Harry. Clearly forgetting he was walking just behind the two. He couldn't stop the stewing that was building from a simmer to a boil. 

 

“Shit.” Looking up from where he was emptying out his gym bag over at the still jacketed 1st year. Noticing the push of books in the side bag. 

“What's up?” after bypassing any indication of conversation with the other brothers, he had gone straight to his room. Surprised Harry had even followed him.

“Left my textbook at my dorm.” There was a frustrated groan that could only be reserved for school work. 

“Oh… can you go without it? Get it tomorrow?” Niall asked as he left his bag and sat down on the bed beside the searching hands. 

“I was so close to finishing... I'd rather get it out of the way now…” semester end was always tough Niall knew that, picking up extra study groups and even getting a tutor for a maths course. “Fuck.” It came out in a quiet dejection. 

“If we leave now we could be back in less than half an hour… Do you know where you left it.” Worrying now for the brunette who never seemed to upset over anything at all.

“Yeah. It's literally on my bed. I put it there whilst packing my bag…” Blue eyes flicking up along the sweater clad arm up to pinched brows. “I can go on my own. Don't wanna make you when you have stuff to do. “

Reaching out to touch Harry's forearm. Holding on as he shook his head standing up. “Don't stress, I wanna come.” 

“ok..” There was a Hesitation before the brunette went from confused to smiling like a goof grabbing his dorm keys and straightening up.

Trying his best on the walk to the others dorm to get closer or bump his shoulder into Harry's. Talking about something from back home, or about a teacher that had been rumored to sell drugs. Dumb things to make each other laugh, but Niall couldn't help but think he was throwing out major signals for the taller to take his hand or put an arm around him. 

Niall should have just been the one to hold Harry's hand. It was that simple, but it wasn't. It was twisted but he wanted to see the other want him. Maybe it was a part of him not wanting to feel like something shameful. Irrational thoughts filling his head, just proof of his insecurity dating the once married man.

Olive toned hands had them through the dorm room door. And reaching for the textbook that was hidden under a messy duvet cover. 

It was dumb but even as happy as Harry was. Niall had this awful sinking feeling of not wanting to walk back to the frat. Putting his hands in his pockets, looking from the book to green eyes. 

“Harry, do you not like me?” It sounded stupid as soon as it came out. Since they had just talked about how much they liked each other. 

“What?” Harry gave him such a weird look, like he was actually asking the dumbest question. But he must have been able to tell the seriousness it Niall's question. “What the hell Niall. Course I do.” 

There wasn't a clear thought on what to ask him. Trying to grasp for some clarity in the bouncing thoughts. “Then why don't you wanna hold my hand?”

“Huh?” Dark brows pinched together in confusion. 

“You never hold my hand. In front of our friends… or just, like walking here. I tried to give you some pretty fucking huge signals.” This was embarrassing that he had to explain and it was starting to become increasingly frustrating as he stood in the dorm room. 

“It never crossed my mind. Why didn't you just hold mine?” Harry sounded so matter of factly standing at the other end of the small room.

It should have been easy to just say. Yeah he's right and to move on and just be the one but that wasn't what he needed. Needing reassurance that Harry wasn't changing his mind. “Because I don't have to prove that I like guys!” as soon as he said it it felt so wrong. He wasn't trying to make Harry feel bad for figuring out he also liked guys, it wasn't like Niall hadn't dated bi guys before.

“That’s unfair Ni.” 

“Fuck. Harry I'm sorry i-i didn't mean to say that.” Sighing since this had gone belly up quickly. “for me, it's not that you like girls and maybe guys it has nothing to do with that, that's great. It's that you were married… and I just want what you probably did with her.. some kind of public affection. I want my boyfriend to be proud to be with me.”

“Niall.. I didn’t think me being married would be a huge issue.” there was a hurt in Harry’s voice that Niall wish he hadn’t made happen, listening to a low sigh. “We never held hands though She hated it. Almost hated all physical contact after a while.” Watching Harry move to sit on the edge of the bed. “I don't want what I had with her. Maybe when we were young we did things like that but I don't want what I had with her to happen to you and I.” 

Niall frowned since he hadn't really asked why they had split. Taking the few steps to be closer to the lanky first year. Reaching out to play with a rouge curl sticking out from all the rest. “I'm sorry… Harry I had no idea. I guess I never realized why you two split up.”

Green eyes looked it at his, deep and rich like a forest. “There were lots of reasons why things didn't work. But I guess I never got use to physical things.” A hand reached out to take his, rich cream against his own fingers lacing. “This is all a new world for me… where I'm from you just down show much of anything.” There was a tug at his fingers as he went from watching the brunette to watching their hands, liking the way Harry worried at his fingers like they were his own. 

“The only time I'd ever see my parents share any kind of moments was a kiss on bank holidays… like Christmas, if they were feeling daring sometimes on birthdays as well.” That seemed so lonely, something Niall couldn't wrap his head around. His family were loud, affectionate to the point of being embarrassing. 

It felt like the words were stuck. Lose of anything to say as he moved to stand fully in front of the younger. Making his way to the v between his knees, free hand moving to tangle in messy curls. “That’s such a waste.” Talking quietly as if they weren't already the only ones in the room. Wanting his words to only ever be heard by Harry’s ears. 

“of what?”

Leaning in he couldn't help himself pulling Harry's head back. “of your lips.” Pressing against deep pink lips, he wanted to do nothing but kiss this boy till he felt like it was abnormal to not be connected. 

Pulling just enough to be chased after by need lips. “You're meant to be touched, and felt…” Whispering softly as the arm sound his waist tightened, it had felt so right he hadn't even noticed. Kneeling over the bent leg, climbing into his lap so there hips settled together. Sat in his lap with Harry between his knees. 

Locking eyes as he led the other hand around his waist, liking how it felt to be held in Harry's arm. His hand traveled up along the sleeved arm, to his shoulder. “I crave you…”

 

Walking out of the dorms main entrance. Feeling as if anyone he made eye contact would know they had just spent too much time making out. Feeling shyer as he looked over at Harry who had his usual trying not to smile but failing look. Exchanging a quick look before both started laughing, he couldn't pinpoint where this feeling came from. All he know was he didn't want it to stop.

Maybe it was a mix from lacking oxygen for so long in Harry's room. Or how silly he felt after leaving, that when a warm hand took his. It was like being light headed, so much so that he could have floated away. Not just a hand in his, fingers linking together. Squeezing quickly getting a response just as fast. 

“H-Harry. Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to.” Blushing hotly while they made their way back toward the frat house. Trying his best to play it off, since he didn’t want to pressure Harry now knowing what he knew. 

“I mean.. Boyfriends are supposed to hold each other’s hands.” It was his turn to wear the dumbest smile. Nodding quickly as he kept his grip on the younger's hand all the way back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends! You are all so sweet with your last comments i love it so much! it means to much to me that you all understand and are so supportive! Let me know if you enjoyed.. Next chapter is going to have.. some good stuff ;D


	7. DRINK, Virgin.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry works on his talking skills. Also leveling up his drinking skills, or maybe it will be game over.

It started as a tremble. Deep inside as muscles tightened, parted lips letting out a gasp. Arms locked in place on either side of a messy blond head. The rhythmic slap of bodies meeting, hips pushing to be deeper in an never ending battle to become one. 

The dig of fingernails on strong biceps. Gripping to stop from sliding of the bed or to keep Harry close, sweaty and breathing hard. The result of a few days going untouched, of long days spent apart and bags needing to be packed leaving them to tired. 

Watching kissed red lips part in a quiet needy “Oh fuck.” It was barely audible yet it held all the feeling in the world. Pale lashes blinked open exposing soft blues large in lust in search of his own. There was a fight to keep pale eyes open, brows pinched and lips parted in a heavy pant. It was his favorite look, the one right before climax. One that he had studied, wanting to see as much as possible. 

“close?” Sounding cocky in between heavy breaths. A wicked smirk lit his face, stray damp waves falling loose around his temples. Weight of milky thighs gripping his hips asking for him to be deeper, faster. 

A nod offered from the blond was desperate and needy. “H-harry.” Hands pulling him down, as he leaned in listening to quick pants mixing with his. Arch of a chest now pushing up to meet his own. It was taking all of his control not to finish first. 

As he leaned into a hot cheek not missing a beat. “Come for me.” It wasn’t asked nor was it a request but spoken in a true demand. The undoing of his lover as he pulled back just enough to watch the blink of heavy blond lashes and the sweet hiccup of gasps. The jerk of hips against his own, and a sweet contracting of muscles that no matter the day or time could make him a puddle between the blond’s thighs. 

It was like seeing stars after being in the city for too long, or that rush of going down an amusement park ride. He know it was coming but there was nothing he could do to stop it yet no matter how often he was locked together with the other it never prepared him for how good that feeling was. Feeling as if he had just made it to the top of the roller coaster, with a sweet abused entrance awaiting his fall. 

It could have been the moans, and the tight muscles begging him for his finish. But he liked to think it was that look, the one that asked him to fill the blond up. That the day couldn’t get started, or end without it. Only seconds longer before he was falling into that feeling, rhythm broken by uneven thrusts. Groaning in bliss as he finally settled, back straight being held up but his knees and forearms. 

Legs around his hips hooking at the ankle making the perfect cradle, keeping his eyes closed and dropping his head forward to feel the coasting after the drop. As he rested down at the ease of the bruising grip on his biceps. It would be worth the marks left behind and small bruises, as the finger tips apologetically stroking the imprints of half moons on his skin. As he felt the fingers map their way up along his arms, it was so soothing he could fall asleep like this. 

Pushing a sweaty forehead against the hot and damp chest. Not that he minded this was all his doing. Working his way up by leaving soft kisses toward that lovely dip before the collar bone, up along a pink neck. Listening to the slowly evening breaths, and soft chuckles. 

Smiling back as he pushed into his spot against the length of the neck. The place right under a red eat. Placing sweet soft kisses, smiling against the skin in between each kiss. Getting sillier after each press of his lips to the point where he was blowing annoying raspberries against the soft skin. 

“B-Babe.. Stop” It came out in between laughs that sounded so sweet to his ear. Voice sounding slightly cracked from loud moans and sweet begs. Not even giving a second thought as he reached down to tickle sensitive sides. 

“Harry, n-not yet..” Getting a push and a beg for him to stop, though it seemed more dangerous since he was still inside the blonds warm body. Giving in as he finally laid down chest to chest, offering sweet kisses instead of tickles. 

\-----

It was only days before the end of term, before he could stop studying and just focus on the last week he had in America. And mainly on the blond who was standing at the end of the bed, after spending another night together at the frat house. It was getting ridiculous how inseparable they were. It went from holding hands to now giving a kiss goodbye after walking Niall to class or to practice. 

Even though there were a ton of reasons telling him he shouldn’t be doing this still, that it wasn’t right. But from the deepest part of him, he couldn’t tell why it was wrong either. It felt nice, to be wanted. To be needed in more than just one way. 

Sitting up against the headboard, blue eyes catching his as he watched the blond thumb wipe the side of his lips and licking it clean. Making him instantly blush and pull the covers up shyly. Ok, so they had been doing more than just holding hands and kissing. Listening to the laugh, as he watched his muscular boyfriend get out of his shorts and wrap a towel around his waist heading for the showers. 

Breathing out slowly as he slumped, it was new territory for him. Of course it was, he had never dated a guy before. Unable to stop the small smile on his lips. Hand jobs had been a strange conquest, as he had gotten into Niall’s frat room catching the blond watching something. Resulting in Harry asking if he could try, and it had shocked him for sure how much he wasn’t as weirded out by it. And it could have been that look Niall got right before he finished, it was perfect. He wanted to be the only person to give him that look. 

The subject of blowjobs had been brought up by the blond. Of course it had and the first time he got head, it was amazing and embarrassing. It had taken him a few times to not want to finish in seconds, but Niall never said anything. Would smile and tell him how good he was doing, or how good he tasted. Things that would feel condescending or malicious from anyone else, but Niall had a sense of patients that was inviting for him to try again and become more confidant. 

It wasn’t like overnight he had liked giving back. More so because he found it hurt his jaw, or he didn’t get how Niall could not gag or that weird way he was able to use his tongue and hollow his cheeks. A learning curve for sure, but Niall never seemed to complain and maybe it wasn’t the most romantic thing but he appreciated that Niall didn’t mind him spitting. It was a texture thing, maybe one day he would get better at it all. 

After stretching in the bed he pushed back under the covers pulling the blankets over his head. He didn’t have an exam until that afternoon. Whist Niall had two and another the next day. Glad that the early mornings for practices had stopped just before finals. 

“Did you fall back asleep?” The voice was back in the room waking Harry up from his almost sleep. Not bothering responding back. “Typical.. Do you ever not fall asleep anywhere.” He could hear the amusement as he pulled the covers from his face. 

“Hey..” Calling out as he stretched one more time and turned over to watch the blond get dressed. “You do it too.” 

“Yeah, but I don’t look like an adorable baby deer that someone needs to bring home.” Blinking a few times in the dim lit room, as he watched Niall bend over to get dressed getting a very nice view. 

“What are you talking about?” Groaning quietly to himself when soft skin was covered by the annoying fabric of sweat pants. Any kind of actually real clothes seemed to go out the window in the frat and all over campus. Everyone going to exams in comfy warm clothes. 

“I'm not to sure.. But get up, walk me to my test.” Shaking his head as he turned over. 

“Nah, it’s too cold out.” Joking as he looked up at the ceiling deciding already that he would get up in 5 minutes. 

“Babe.” It came out in the most entertaining way, a whine from the older jock. Holding back his smile. 

“Nah, but bring me back a coffee will you?” Teasing as he heard the huff. 

“Harry, come on. I’ll get you a coffee but you have to give me my good luck kiss… I think it’s the only thing that’s going to help me pass.” Feeling the dip of the bed, turning his attention to the side as the blond crawled on top of his covered legs. Wearing the green packers hoodie that was Harry's. But it looked good on the blond, as he sighed. 

“Is it tomorrow yet? I'm done taking exams…” He pretended to fall asleep again. 

“I'm ready to party… “ Their was a quiet in the room, he could feel the body shifting over him laying down flat on his chest, presses of cold wet hair against his cheek. 

“Ni, your hair is wet. Stop..” Pulling his face away as the blond started nudging his cheek. It felt cold making him shiver. Finally opening his eyes again. “Ok ok, im awake!” 

Hands were down on his chest pushing away, as he slowly sat up after him. “I already apologize babe.. But tomorrow i'm getting stupid.” Raising a brow as he moved to hold the blond's hips still in his lap. Keeping him close. 

“Really?” Actually never seeing Niall drunker than himself. So that would be interesting. 

“But you’re not drinking as much.” Niall was shaking his head. 

That put a frown on his lips. “Wait why?”

“Babe, you’re amazing. But I’m not taking care of you tomorrow night.” Fingertips were against his cheek stroking softly. 

“Hey.. I never.- i haven’t..” The look he was getting, yeah ok he had gotten a bit drunk a few times. “Yeah. ok… You’re never going to let me live that down.” 

“Nope.” Lips were against his quickly, finally luring him out of bed. As he got dressed and ready to leave the frat, going to get in a bit more studying in before the afternoon. 

 

Friday night couldn't have come soon enough. Feeling like he hadn’t slept in weeks, as he looked over at the annoyed blond. Holding his hand and leading the way back towards the road the frat was on. 

“Oh god.. Babe, I bombed that test so badly... “ It had been jarring seeing Niall be one of the last to leave the room his exam was in, and he looked pale and worried. 

“It's going to be ok… You studied so hard, I’m sure you did well.” Trying his best to console the older. As they came up on the turn to the sorority and fraternity street. 

“I-I’m going to lose my scholarship.. I’m not going to row here in the spring, I’m going to have to go back to Ireland.. I’m not going to be able to stay here with you..” Even if the blond was struggling with this sense of possible lose, Harry smiled at the thought of Niall already putting him in the equation was cute. 

“You’re getting yourself all worked up.. Ni.” Stopping them, and pulling the other in for a hug. “It's going to be ok, you’re not losing your scholarship. You’re going to be rowing.. You’re staying here in America. If its that bad they could let you retest.” 

It seemed to be enough to get the blond to relax enough to nod and move into the hug more. ‘Ok.’ It was whispered softly but nonetheless it was something. 

“Let's get back to the frat, i think we both need a drink.” Taking the turn onto their street, it was as if the entire campus was out partying here. Hoards of partying students on the lawns of houses all seemingly taking a break from the stress of semester end. 

Through the large groups of students, towards Niall's frat house. Not sure how so many people could be around. Feeling a bit less worried for the older once inside, stuff put away and back on the main floor. Being separated and wrapped in different conversations. Getting glimpses of the blond standing with a large group. Like any other time they drank he lost whatever sense of time he had. 

Only a few drinks in, and by judging by the rose tinted cheeks he needed a few more to keep up. Really he was trying to pace himself, nursing the same beer long enough it became warm from his hand halfway through it. Trying his best to stay in the conversation but if he was honest he checked out a while back. Eyeing the blond who was now regularly accepting the shots given to him. 

Wanting to do something but the blond had already claimed to be sorry he was going to be drinking. Deciding pretty quickly to let him do as he pleased. Turning his attention trying to figure out how it had gone from great literature figures of the 1800s to pop icons of the early 2000s. 

Somehow they were closely related but he had missed it. Distracted by the hand pushing into his a sudden body standing beside him. “Hey.” The voice was quiet enough just for him. 

Bowing his head to the side just close enough to speak back, smile spreading on his lips. “Hi.” It had to be so obvious how much he liked this boy since all they were doing was holding hands at a party and he couldn’t be happier. 

“What’s happening here?” The voice again only for him as he finally turned to look at the blonds red cheeks and shrugged. 

“You’re guess is as good as mine.” Getting a silly smirk back from Niall. 

“Then it's ok if i steal you for a second?” 

Nodding immediately as he let the other lead him away from the group toward the stairs where not many were milling about now. The odd making out couple in the darkened hall, everyone else gravitating toward main rooms in the house. Sneakers took the first step before stopping and turning. 

Raising a brow as he looked at the older who had gone from shorter to now just a few inches taller them him. “Oh i see how it is.” Teasing as he moved in close arms finding their way around the trim waist and tilting his head back just enough for the now taller to dominate the kiss. 

It hadn’t meant to be such a hard core make out session on the steps. Niall’s arms were locked around his shoulders, his own hands roaming with confident freedom. Loving the dip of the blonds lower back just at the waist, stroking downward to grab a handful of the blonde's perky backside. 

Breathing hard once they finally came up for air as he blushed realizing he had the older pinned against the railing along the wall. Not minding the slight bit of dominance he just still found it slightly embarrassing how caught up he could get. Dropping his head down to a firm shoulder claiming his breathing as he felt soft lips against his ear. 

At first it didn’t seem like anything was being said, just a soft hum from kiss red lips. Only finally realizing the other was trying to ask him something after a bit louder sounding of his name against his ear, making his hairs stand on end in such a lovely way. “Yeah?”

“I think.. Maybe tonight's the night..” It took him longer then he should have ever admitted, as he started pulling back to look at the way the blond. How he dragged a pink tongue over lips should have clued him in. 

“The night?” Tilting his head in confusion. 

“Yeah, the night we…” It was being dangled right in front of him but he was still confused. And by judging by the frat boy that he was painting him a fairly large picture he wasn’t getting. Hoping he didn’t look as daft as he felt. “Do you get it babe?”Shaking his head as he gave his best innocent smile. 

“Babe.” The voice was soft as he stayed in place letting the hands rub his back comfortingly. “You’re very cute.” It didn’t sound patronizing for the fact he had no clue what Niall wanted to do that night. 

“Thanks?” Asking as he narrowed his eyes as he held the olders hips in his grip. The tip forward of pink lips kissing his jaw, up along slowly toward his ear. Closing his eyes wanting to savor this feeling he still found hard to believe Niall wanted to kiss him. 

“Lets.” It came between soft pecks. “Have.” Harry was already nodding his head unsure of what the blond wanted but it had to be good. “Sex tonight.” Even the soft kiss after couldn’t soften that blow. 

He was only just getting it wrapped in his head that the blond wanted to do other things to him, now he wanted go that far. All the way as their American friends said after a conquest of another sexual partner. Swallowing wrong just like their first date and turned his head to cough a few times before straightening back. 

Concerned blue eyes followed his movement, “you ok?” flicking back and forth while Harry shook his head. Trying his best to play it off cool but this was kind of rocking his world. Always knowing that eventually maybe one day they would have sex, but he never actually thought the blond would want to have sex with him. Not sure how to compute it all. 

“Yeah… “ Nodding about being ok after coughing then nodding again. “Yeah i mean… right now?” 

Watching blue eyes shine and a confident nod, that he wished he had. If this got his mind off the exam results and took another step together, maybe he could do it without embarrassing himself. As Harry chose to ignore the sweaty palms and the heady feeling he was getting. 

“Let me grab another drink and will head upstairs.. Ok?” The flirty look Harry was getting definitely made nodding in agreement easier. 

 

There had never been such a pain in his life. Heavy pounds against his temples, how the room felt like it was lit by flood lights. There was the feeling of an arm slung over his waist that he was trying to focus on to fall back asleep and ignore the room spinning. 

This turned impossible as soon as his stomach lurched. He was about to lose anything left in his stomach and he couldn’t do that in bed. Throwing blankets and the arm off his waist, swinging his legs out almost knocking into what looked like a bucket of sick. It didn't help as he gagged but thankfully nothing came up. 

Harry had never stumbled this fast out of anything. Out the bedroom door and down the hall. Getting to the porcelain bowl just in time to get sick. He couldn't hear the feet following him but the sudden feel of a hand rubbing his back and tucking his curls behind his ear was comforting. 

There wasn't anything left just the awful after shock of dry heaving. Sitting back from where he was kneeling, hands up rubbing his face applying pressure since it felt like his whole head was going to explode. Letting out a pathetic groan, he needed this headache to go away and to never be that sick again. 

“You ok to get up?” It came after what felt like minutes on the floor, the hand never stopping its soothing motion. Keeping his head down and nodding. Getting up and glad he wasn’t alone since he was sure he would have made really good friends with the floor. 

Stopping to wash his face and hands, then brush his teeth trying to get rid of the sick taste. Making his way back to the room and crawling back into bed. Being asked if he could keep anything down. Then handed a few small pills and a sports drink bottle that looked like an unnatural shade of blue. Taking whatever was given and falling back asleep once his head hit the pillow. 

 

Waking up finally, the slow blink trying to focus. The mild ache in his temples but that was the only pain other than his empty stomach he could feel. Licking dry lips but not bothering in moving just yet. Green eyes eyeing the spot where he could have sworn the sick filled bucket had rested earlier. 

Going between closing his eyes for a few minutes and then opening them once he realized he wasn’t going to get back to sleep, partly from how long he must have been sleeping. Also could be from the soft click coming every so often behind him at the desk. Finally taking in a deep breath and turning over. 

Settling on his other side, not saying anything yet just looking around the side of the room. Eyes landing on the cleaned bucket from earlier now back in it's home as a garbage bin. Quickly looking away trying to not think of it too hard or it might make him sick again. 

There wasn’t much going on in his head, as he settled on watching the blond. Legs in tracky bottoms, pulled up on top of the chair. Sweater on and a backwards cap, glasses he rarely saw unless the frat boy was writing essays on the computer. Watching him go from random websites to something that looked super familiar but he couldn’t tell. 

Staying and watching before he could really start to smell himself. Grimacing and deciding to get up. “I'm gonna shower.” Mumbling softly as he grabbed the towel hanging up beside Nialls and headed towards the showers, needing to feel clean. To feel more awake and ready to spend the day with his boyfriend. 

It felt like there was a mental block, anything from the night before felt blurry. But he didn’t want to think about it since that took a lot more than he had. The hot water felt nice a sweet contrast to the cold outside. Even if it was nowhere near the winters back home it was still chilly. 

Something about a hot shower really made him feel human again. Stepping out drying off the strands of dripping water off his hair then wrapping the towel around his waist. Getting back in the room and dressed in something similar to his boyfriend. 

Sitting back on the bed for a few minutes before he realized Niall hadn't said anything to him yet. Very strange since Niall some days didn't have an off switch. 

“What ya up to?” his voice sounded thick from lack of use. It was the long wait to get a response that had his curiosity spark. 

“waiting for results to post.” Niall's voice sounded agitated like he could be angry about something. 

“Oh right.. what have they posted.” Trying to ignore the others mood even for a second but it was getting hard when Niall would take longer than a minute to reply. 

“few 94’s… couple 98’s. Just waiting on the last exam.” Other than the fact that there was no way Niall could have failed anything he was brilliant. Harry was starting to clue in that there was something wrong. 

“Ni. Are you mad at me or something?” Trying to make it sound jokey the best he could because what had he done.

“Yeah, mate.” Niall’s voice sounded so annoyed, but it was clear he was actively ignoring him as Harry’s brows pushed together. 

“Why?” There was no way else to ask, as he watched the blonde's back wanting him to turn. Watching the bob of the derby county Ram logo on the cap. “Ni, can you at least look at me. I don't know what I did wrong.” 

There was another few clicks from the laptop before the jock finally turned in the chair, legs unfolding to meet the floor. Watching clothed arms cross over his chest, following up the drawstring of the hood up to the unpleased look on his boyfriend’s face. “Do you even remember anything from last night?”

Closing his eyes since that felt very loaded, as he tried to remember the night before. “Ah.. I remember getting back to the place and getting some drinks.” Finally looking up at him with a shrug. “I remember the kissing that was fun..And a lot of drinking.” 

“Really. That's it?” Not really to sure where Niall was going with this as he nodded in reply. Thats everything. “So you don’t remember going out for air with me on the deck after you and some Kappa sig- guy finished a Liter of vodka.. ?” Frowning suddenly since he couldn’t recall that at all. “So you don’t recall throwing up over the side of house?” 

Again all he could do was shake his head that didn’t sound right. But it felt fuzzy and oddly correct, sounding like something fairly alien. “I took care of you all night last night Harry… Any of that ringing a bell?” 

“Ni, im really sorry I ruined your night. I didn’t mean to.” His hand where in his lap taking his lashings because that did seem pretty shitty. 

“That part sucked, but were fucking in University that shits bound to happen. That's really not what I’m fucking pissed about Harry.” 

“Then what's the point getting all stroppy about it? What’s gotten you all bent out of shape then?” This was starting to get annoying, since Niall didn’t seem to care for how drunk he was but then still making him feel bad for taking care of him all night. Non of this made sense. “Go on, tell me. Since clearly there's something else.” 

Watching the blond shake his head and look away. “Don’t worry about it.” 

“No seriously what are you on about?” 

“You didn’t have to almost get alcohol poisoning to avoid sleeping with me. You could have just said no.” His voice sounded pretty upset and hurt shocking Harry from saying anything other than looking like a demented fish with his mouth open. ‘What?’

“Do you know how shitty that makes a guy feel. Knowing you’d rather be bent over a bleeding toilet then have sex with me.” 

Watching the blond get up to start passing, with that and how fast everything was flying back to him. It was impossible to not feel so dizzy. 

“Seriously i should have fucking known..” 

“Ni.” Reaching out to try and stop the blond, but it was all coming back to him like the floodgates, quick glimpse of the night before. Of the blond saying they should have sex. Then to sitting in the hallway after having a couple drinks to calm his nerves with some guy from a different frat. And how much he couldn’t stop talking about how nervous he was getting. 

“No, Harry. Don’t ‘Ni’ me.’ The hand was pulled away from his out stretched one as he sighed Niall had taken care of him and here he was thinking everything was ok when he really had to do some damage control. 

“Niall. Stop. Please.” Trying to not sound as pained as he felt, he didn’t like how dizzy he was feeling. 

“Why Harry.” 

“Cuz I wanted to have sex with you. But i was fucking terrified.” 

It was Niall's turn to look dumbfounded, “what?” stopping his pace as Harry finally was able to focus on him better. He looked good in glass even with his red cheeks. 

“I was shitting myself with nerves babe.. I-i didn’t want to have sex with you last night.” Niall’s face pulled into a confused glare raising his free hand in a question. 

“If you're trying to explain yourself. You’re doing a pretty shit job of it mate.” Feeling the tug of the blond pulling his hand back. 

“Can you just listen to me. Please.” Feeling the arm lessen its resistance, looking up at blue eyes. “I didn’t want to just have drunk sex that i wouldn’t remember in the morning. I-I want our first time to be a bit more special than that. And so I was going to tell you last night. B-But then one more drink turned into… whatever the fuck happened..” 

All resistance stopped as Niall stepped right in front of him looking like he was trying to decide to believe him or not. 

“You’re such a virgin.” The voice was soft and a bit deflated now. As he pulled at the blond's arm to get him to come closer. Pushing his face into the university hoodie and breathing in a deep Niall sented sigh. 

“I'm sorry… “ He mumbled against the cloth because he was. Truly sorry he had made Niall feel unwanted. “I keep fucking things up.” 

“You do, but you make up for it well..” Arms were wrapping around his shoulders feeling the pressure of the body resting against his. The feeling of kisses being placed on the crown of his head dispute wet hair. “how's your head?” 

“Spinny.” That got a lot of sympathy, as his boyfriend got him back into bed and they laid face to face. Legs tangled up in one another as he kept his arm around the blond's waist holding his hips close. 

“I really do want to have sex with you… Just maybe not today. But before I head home for christmas for sure... “ Watching Niall's smile reach his eyes and a nod. 

“Really?” It sounded playful more like his usual boyfriend. He didn't mind being hung over if it meant Niall laying against his chest ready to take endless naps. 

 

Nervously he sat on the bed waiting patiently after the older had left for the bathroom. He had left the laptop after becoming too anxious while waiting for Niall to come back from the shower. 

Heart racing hard as soon as he heard the door open. Trying to hide his shy smile behind a nervous habit of biting a dark rose lip. Looking back over his shoulder to watch the blond hang up his towel but dressed in his usual sweats and a muscle shirt. 

The room was warm, it made him blush to think of the blond saying he didn't want to be cold once he was undressed. Eyeing him as he walked around the bed and climbing on to sit at the head of the bed. Both exchanging bashful smiles, it was so strange to feel like this again. Shy in front of the only person he didn’t need to hide anything from. 

It took the older finally chuckling for Harry to feel more at ease. Looking up from where he was watching the blond's lips. “Hi.” 

“Hey.” Getting a wink as he eyed the jock reaching out from the bed towards the bed side table. Grabbing at the box and the small plastic bottle. “Ok, so.” There was movement and settling, Niall was sitting cross legged in front of him now box open holding up the shiny foil wrapped square. “This is a condom. Right?” Blue eyes looking at him expectantly to agree he understood.

Eyes going wide as he blushed hard. “Oh God, Ni. I know what they are.. I bought the damn things.” Hearing a snicker since now there was no way he was going to look at those beautiful blue eyes without feeling embarrassed. ‘Hardly.’ It had been the day before and Niall had practically forced him to buy them himself. 

Reaching out to take it, he had only ever really seen them a handful of times. Watching the lads at his school blow them up and throw them into a group of unexpecting girls as a joke. Or in a movie if the film was on the more risque side. And he had only ever used one once and it really wasn’t needed since both parties were left unsatisfied. . 

Squishing the packet containing the rubber, he wasn’t really hard yet either so he didn’t know how that was going to work. “So.. Let me just.” Looking down at himself then up at awaiting blue eyes. 

“Babe.. can I help?” The pale hand was reaching out for him as he shook his head and pulled the package back. 

“Its ok.. I can do it.” Holding it close, but the retreat of his hand didn’t stop his experienced boyfriend from moving forward fully. 

“I know you can… But I really want to.” That’s all it took as he watched the blond head lower down toward his pants. Pale hand out pulling the fabric of the waistband away from his hips exposing his boxers. Not offering much help as he held the foil packet in one hand and supported himself from falling back with the other. Watching skillful hands easily release him from the confines of his shorts. 

Gasping as soft lips pressed warm kisses along the side of his cock. Causing all sorts of stirrings to happen. It wouldn't take long with this kind of attention for him to get where he needed to be. 

As lips slid down, watching the end of his shaft disappear into the mouth of his boyfriend. Still amazed at how Niall made it looks so effortless. Shivering as he grabbed the firm shoulder and nudged the older back. 

“Keep going and I’ll finish too soon.” Breath uneven since he really didn’t want Niall to stop. But they were about to do something he hadn’t realized he had wanted. That last step to showing how committed to Niall he was. The farthest step from who he thought he was going to be. 

Watching the blond pull back just enough. As Harry finally opened the foil with a rip down the center. Not ready for it to be so slippery, the perks of going to a religious school was the lack of sexaul education. Pinching it in the wrong way so that it jumped from his fingertips having to grab it quickly. 

“Babe can I?” It was quiet and really there was no way out of this one. Handing it over as Niall had it on him, trying to ignore the foreign feeling and focus on remembering for next time. Breathing out slowly once it was on, Niall helping him get undressed quickly before he sat there the only one naked. 

Locking onto the sight of the older pulling the thin material off his toros. Tossing it to the side, as he devoured the sight of Niall’s toned chest and arms. He had seen Niall naked before but this was different, they were about to be as close to each other as humanly possible. 

God he looked good, legs parted in a V bent at the knee. A cheeky grin on his lips only losing a bit of its confidence from his pink toned cheeks. Harry pushed forward onto his hands and knees moving in between pale thighs. 

“D-do I need to.. Um.. do more to help?” Awkwardly gesturing down towards the parted legs, mainly referring to his partners bare ass. 

A soft laugh and a shake of messy blond hair. “Don’t worry about that part. Already taken care of, just come here...I think it’s better if you're on top for now.” Following as instructed, moving into the spot where his thighs held the back of Niall’s legs. Arms moving along exposed legs past his hips, along smooth sides. Head bent down as he looked at the lack of space between them. A soft voice in front of him pulling him from the sight. “Harry, kiss me?” 

Catching a glimpse of endless blues, before leaning in catching soft lips. It didn’t take long before he was resting his weight down, pinning Niall to the mattress. Pulling away from the kissed plump lips looking between them. “Should we?” Asking between staggered breaths, he had never been so nervous as Niall’s hand ran over him again to keep him hard. 

“Yeah… Just go slow. Haven’t done this in a while.” A quickened breath causing the short pause. “Don’t push in to fast, or pull out to suddenly.” Voice assuring and straight to the point it didn’t seem to complicated. “Don’t forget the lube. Be generous.” Blushing as he nodded grabbing the small container pour a heaping amount, looking awkwardly at Niall. 

It was strange how his hand slid over his shaft, slippery but his hand was far from how it was about to feel. With the aid of practiced hands he was positioned right at the puckered entrance. Pushing his hips forward, slowly since there was no way to prepare for how hot and tight it would feel. 

So much pressure, to the point it almost hurt. Looking from where his tip had disappeared up to the look on Niall's face. How he bite his lip, how one held tightly to his forearm. Feeling the tips of his fingers brushing his hip line to stop him from going to quickly. 

It was slow but he finally sheltered inside the man under him. Breathing harder as he stilled not wanting to move from his spot, a pulling need to connect with Niall's lips took his attention. From hips up they were inseparable. Chest to chest, lips mixing together in slow intimate kisses. 

Everything had built him up to this point, the lips that got him hard and the hand that helped to keep him that way. It didn't help that Niall looked so sexy, exposed for only Harry to see. Breathing hard with a lusty look in his eyes. With the tightness that surrounded him after trying to pull his hips back groaning at the sensation he had never felt before. It was bringing him to that dangerous teeter of the cliff's edge. 

“Fuck.” Groaning quietly as he looked away for the breathtaking sight and dropped his head to Niall's neck. 

“Your doing great.” A sweet tone against his ear, as hands rubbed down his back. 

Shaking his head this was embarrassing. “I can't move..” Mumbling into the smooth warmed skin half hoping the blond couldn't hear. 

“Why babe? It's ok.” It was comforting but it was taking his all to not finish in a seconds notice. 

“‘Cuz I'll cum.” blushing hard as he took as long breath in hoping it didn't sound as shakey as he felt. 

“Then cum for me.” Take aback by the words whispered against his ear. As hips pushed back against his causing him to push back in. 

Tensing up as he finished the movement, there was a tension barling down on his need. Coaxing out his orgasm, with a grunt and a jerk of his hips he was coming and it felt so good. 

It took a second before it sank in, becoming modified he realizing how quick that had been. All the lead up to a quick end. Keeping his face buried inside the dip of the blond’s neck. To embarrassed to move but also to embarrassed to face Niall. This was a lose lose.

“Babe?” the voice was quiet against his ear lips pressing softly to the skin.

“Ni, stop.” Trying to hide his ear from the sweet assault of lips. 

“What’s wrong?” Nialls lips not stopping, as he felt them peck the side of his head. 

Shaking his head trying to get the blond to stop. “Whats wrong was that was so embarrassing..” 

“It wasn’t.” Listening to how fast the blond replied. “It was bound to happen… it’s kind of like having your first time… again.” 

“Then why didn’t you mention that.” Groaning keeping his face hidden he didn’t have anywhere to go that could hide him. 

“Harry.” Shaking his head again and pushing it farther into Niall’s neck he could die right here it would be ok. “Harry, please look at me.. Come on.” It took a bit more coxing but he finally lifted his head just enough. Niall was quick though, feeling his fingers pressing along his red flushed cheek pulling him to face blue eyes better. “Babes...didn’t you buy a whole box of condoms.” Nodding his head slowly not sure what the blond was getting at feeling fairly thick to this all. 

“Well… I wasn’t planning on stopping at one today.” A pale thumb brushed over his bottom lip as he narrowed his eyes. 

He really needed to learn how to keep up, since it took a few long seconds before his eyes widened and lips parted. “Oh.” Getting a lusty smile that had his heart racing all over again. 

“How much longer do you think you need before we go again?”   
“Minute tops.” Grinning as he watched the blond, following the olders lead that had him on his back. 

“Guess i better get you ready.” On his elbows he had never thought this could have been the way they would have spent their first term together. The last few months of the year being one of the most adventurous of all. Not sure next term could top this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY FRIENDS, 
> 
> So this took so much longer to get finished. But its here. Hopefully you like it ^_^ 
> 
> Thanks for reading and leaving comments i love it!
> 
> Next chapter is going to be a short one ^_^ just a quicky.


	8. Sometimes it just slips out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After falling back into a rhythm that is so typical of them. Its time for Harry to step it up a notch.

It had to have been the longest two weeks and a bit, of his life. Sure it had been nice to see his family and spend time with them. But if anything they just made him realize he liked it back at school even if he did miss them. There were less things they had in common, they seemed less informed about anything. Nothing had changed, not in the 4 months that he had been gone. Everyone was the same, and he was different. 

Really he could have brung it at any moment, there was a lot of down time during his trip. So when he had found himself in the back of his parents old yellow volkswagen. Everyone quiet with the radio on, driving down the snowy roads to the train station. 

Maybe it was the cold that kept him rubbing his hands together. Or maybe it was nerves but as he said good bye, standing on the sidewalk beside the train station waving as the old car drove away, he knew he had just missed his final chance that visit to tell them. There was no way he was telling them over the phone or email. He would just have to wait till summer when he came back to spill. Who knows, maybe Niall and him wouldn’t work out and he wouldn’t have to confess a thing. 

But even as he got on the train he had a feeling that that wasn’t a possibility. His heart had ached when Niall got him to the airport. It was shattered when he had to say goodbye just before the security gate. Getting one last kiss before he couldn’t get another taste of peach lips till he was back, till he was what was becoming home. 

It had been 18 days of trying to find the right time to tell his family. But it was also the furthest from being ‘separated’ from Niall since they had spent every waking moment messaging one another. More than half of his nights and days spent talking to the blond whether it was video message or actually just on the phone. 

They knew exactly what one another was doing, it was just strange after getting use to sleeping together every night to go without. Niall had taken a job off campus over the holiday so at least both had kept busy. 

Harry was so tired of the washed out video messaging, sick of having to make sure his phone didn’t drop service in the small town. The plane ride he had been so scared to take just months before felt like a breeze in comparison. 

Hardly able to sleep, mind alert with the prospect of finally getting to see his favorite jock. Customs had been a drag as he waited forever just for them to glance at his passport and at his school/working visa and wave him through. Actually not expecting to see his boyfriend who was working the second day of the new year. One last shift before going back to school, so he was just excited to be picked up by anyone willing to bring him to his boyfriend first. 

Eyes tired but there was no way he could mistake the scruffy blond hair, or the unmistakably over sized packers hoodie under a ucbs school jacket. “What?” The olders smile was so wide it had to be mirroring his own, forgetting any kind of fatigue of having to have 2 layovers and basically traveling for 26 hours. This was worth it to see Niall again realizing how much he missed him.

Steps quickened as he watched the blond head toward him. Dropping the large backpack on the ground ready for the embrace, the crush of bodies colliding and gripping onto one another. “Surprised?” 

The words against his ear as he nodded, it felt so strange. Niall was here in his arms, talking to him not through a phone. Nodding quickly since this had to be the best kind of surprise. “I missed you.” Holding tighter and keeping his face right where it belonged in that dip of the shorters neck and shoulder. 

“Missed you too. So much.” Kisses against his neck and shoulder and echo of the words ‘so much.’ Being whispered between kisses. So maybe it was a bit much but he had gone over 2 weeks without seeing Niall nothing was going to stop him from properly kissing his boyfriend. 

It took longer than should have been appropriate to part from the set of lips he had basically dreamed of, finally pulling back foreheads pressed against one another. “I thought you were working?” Talking quietly while holding Niall’s waist close against his. 

“Got someone to cover me… I couldn’t not pick you up. Was so worth it to see your face.” Lips were back and arms stayed locked in a grip around his neck. 

 

To say they had spent the next few weeks in different forms of lip lock had been a major understatement. It had only been half way through January but school had been in full swing again, Niall was back to his crazy busy practice schedule.

Sundays had ended up in a slow pace. No practice or study groups, either recovering from the night before or noses buried in books. A sweet sense of ease in between large gaps of chaos that was school life. 

Harry wouldn't trade anything for this. His usual spot against the headboard laptop set on his lap. Looking over every once and awhile just to see how far the frat boy was with his work. It was a feeling that he got when he watched Niall for longer then he should, where he couldn’t stop the smile. Amused by the tiny twitches his blond had while working, like the way he would stop and tape his pointer finger and thumb together quickly before starting to type again. 

“Don’t think you’ve finished that paper yet.” The voice was low with a sweet note of playfulness. 

Swallowing as he shook his head, being caught staring and Niall didn’t even have to turn around. “True, just taking a study break.” Closing his lap top, since he was feeling fairly fuzzy from the amount of work they had already done that morning. 

“So your way of taking a break is by staring at the back of me head?” 

“I mean, it’s a pretty good head..” Finally getting blue eyes on him, as he watched the jock turn in the chair. Arms up over his fluffy blond head for a stretch, green eyes eatching up the quick glimpse of pale skin of his stomach. 

“That’s true… Alright, move over.” Niall stood, hands reaching up to take off a pair of glasses. 

“K-keep them on, will be back to studying soon…” It was the only thing he could think to say, since really he just liked seeing him wear the plastic frames. The way he moved onto the bed all looked so easy, like it was the most common thing to straddle his hips, being freed of the laptop. 

Ready and more than willing to accept warm lips against his in a long lip lock. No rush to keep going further, just slow push and pull of lips. Teasing in a way he never wanted to end. Moving on the small bed was becoming easier, as they laid hip to hip chest to chest on their sides. 

Holding Niall close, partly because he didn’t want to stop but also because they had both taken their turns falling off the bed at some point in the last few months. The memory making him chuckle against lips getting a quiet ‘what..’ 

It would have been so easy to just stay in bed and lay like this for hours, he was sure he could never get tired of how the olders lips felt against his. How sweet Niall’s breath hitched after a playful bite. 

One loud knock gave little time for them to detach before the door was being thrown open. “Hey Nialler take my keys for a bit.”

It was as if the brother hadn't just walked in on them making out on the tiny bed. No space between them Niall's thigh slung over Harry's hip. Acting like he hadn't interrupted anything, as Harry stayed laying feeling the blond detach and sit up in bed.

“Seriously?” Watching as hands caught the pair of keys, Harry couldn't stop his shy pull on his lips. It really didn't seem to faze the frat brother, as he reached out to stroke the soft skin exposed at the hairline of dyed blond strands.

“Thanks man i owe you. you wear glasses?” The dorm mate at the door did sound genuinely surprised, guess he may have been one of the only ones to get a glimpse of the blond in glasses. ‘go away.’

Not bothering to watch the guy leave but unable to stop his laugh when the voice came back in the room.” So do you two, like, just never come up for air or..?” 

“close my door and fuck off.” The click of the door couldn't stop quiet his laughter as he finally got full view of blue eyes. “Think it's funny?”

“a bit.” Pushing his hand up further under the shirt pulling his blond back. He looked good, lips swollen and a deep pink with flushed cheeks a contrast to the dark frames. 

“This means sometime tonight he's gonna ask us to drive him somewhere.”

Shrugging since he didn't care about later it was right now he was occupied with. “Whatever. Just let's get back to not studying.” Getting an eye roll in return before lips were back. 

 

Leaning against the counter as he watched his very lovely boyfriend stand at the frying pan listening to the sizzle of buttered bread hit the pan with the flip of the spatula. Late night snacks had become a common occurrence with the bottomless pit of a boyfriend. 

“still think you should have made it a toastie.” He teased where he took a bite if the first one that had come out of the pan. 

“Hey. We need to assimilate some how.” A playful tone since no way a grilled cheese could be the defining factor of being in america. Unable to look away, he could feel it deep inside. The admiration that he hadn’t really felt for anyone and they were just standing in the kitchen eating bread and cheese. Ignoring anything else around them, the fact that they both had early classes the next day and that there was still a final page needing to be written on his essay from the morning. 

It should have been weird, standing at the counter with the jock now leaning against him. He wouldn’t want him anywhere else, laughing about how they both hated the butter on the outside and a toastie would have been better. Silly things like that, or how Niall had looked completely gutted when Harry had reached over and robbed him of his last bite by eating it himself from his hand. Even if there had been a whole half left sitting waiting beside them on a plate. 

Being in each others space just seemed so perfect, Niall was perfect. From how he could make anyone laugh, himself included, at any moment. The kind that had his head back covering his mouth to stop sandwich from falling out. Harry really wanted to be grossed out as their buttery lips collided. 

“Hey, you see my car keys?” It had come as a surprise, again for the second time that day to be interrupted in the middle of an intimate moment. Mind you this time they were out in the open for anyone to walk in on them. Wishing for the first time ever that they could live together away from the frat house. The thought halted him while arms unlocked from around his waist and pulled away. 

Hand up playing with his lip, did he really want that. That was something he hadn’t been prepared to think about. Finally being pulled out of his thought when he realized Niall was just staring at him. 

Shaking the mess of curls and blinking a few times to get himself back from where he had fallen into the mind well. “What?”

“Wanna go for a drive?” A curious look on the shorters faces, passing it off as he nodded quickly. ‘Sure.’ 

 

This is how they found themselves at just after 11, driving across town to the only grocery store open till midnight. Since the now clearly stoned owner of the car and two other frat bros, needed to get something there they couldn’t find at a corner store. Not that Harry minded, as he reached over and held Niall’s hand while they drove. Really liking the night drive beside his boyfriend even if they were driving on the wrong side of the road he felt fairly safe the blond had done a better job at adapting to it then he had. 

Squeezing the creamy toned hand every once and awhile and just above a whisper for the older to hear. “Watch out you’re on the wrong side of the road.” 

Getting a playful ‘shut up.’ trying to hid his goofy smile by looking out the window. Listening to the conversation of the boys in the back. Excited about food but really didn’t seem to sound like a coherent train of thought. Quiet melody from the radio playing something from the local student run station, all adding to the late drive. 

Pulling into a nearly empty parking lot, guess it was good for them. Splitting up the group since Niall seemed like he had done this before. Leaving the group of three as they started down an aisle hand in hand. Harry just listening to the blonds ramble about the choices of snacks. 

Agreeing quickly that he had missed the same things from back home. “Oh I miss Tesco… Never thought I’d miss that.” Both reminiscing of their childhood grocery stores. 

“I could go for a galaxy bar right now.” Even the words had his mouth watering for a fairly common chocolate bar back home. 

“Why didn’t you say that before, I could have brought some back.” Swinging their hands as he side glanced the blond so easy to read his disappointment. 

‘I didn’t even think about that… and a turkish delight, or some proper Cadbury treats.”

“Yeah they aren’t the same here are they?”

“Yes, such a waste here. Grim…” They were quiet for a second as Harry just let their hands stop the full swing listening to the musing of the blond. “I love chocolates from back home.” It came out quiet, and all he could do was nod his head. 

Harry couldn’t even stop it from coming out, half way down the aisle and he couldn’t hold it in any longer. “I love you.” Looking over and saying it quietly, it was out of his mouth before he could think, getting the blond coming to a full stop blue eyes shocked staring back at him. 

Blinking quickly as he realized he hadn’t just thought that he had actually said it outloud. “O-oh shit… I just said that.. Ignore it.” His heart was racing he could hear the bound in his ears, like all the blond was rushing from his head and working extra hard to keep his heart going. 

“W-wh-” Watching the confused stammering look on Niall’s face all he could do was shake his head. 

Free hand up to stop the blond from talking.“No. Please Niall don’t say anything. Can we just… pretend I didn’t just say that in a fucking grocery store” Blushing hard when he finally got Niall to agree to not talking and they turned to go find the others. 

It’s all he could think about on the car ride home. How unromantic he was telling the blond he loved him in a grocery store for crying out loud. Reminiscing over another grocery store and its chocolates. 

They had gotten back and Harry had headed straight up for the bedroom, after Niall had hung back to put away groceries. What if the jock wanted him to leave, or told him that he was going to fast. Maybe the blond would laugh at him when they were alone and confirm he had made a giant dick head out of himself. 

He sat there at the desk with his laptop out when the older didn’t come back to the room right away. Essay open trying to finish the last page but his mind was anywhere but the work in front of him. So many thoughts keeping him from relaxing. Standing up finally, he had to go find the Irishmen. 

The door swung open stopping him in his tracks. “H-hey I was just-” There was a hand up stopping him from talking. Blinking as he watched the blond push the door closed eyes still locked. Swallowing thickly as the older took a couple short steps almost an arms length away he didn’t take long for the gap to be closed. 

His blond boyfriend had such a shy smile he hadn’t seen before making him smile back. Welcoming him back into his space worried about pulling him in too excitedly. Not ready for the words that came out of older's lips. “Did you mean it?” 

Breathing out a shaky breath since now his heart was racing so face at the idea of getting to say it again. “Yes.”

“Good.” Harry couldn’t believe his ears, the just above whisper. It truly felt like his breath was taken away when he heard it. “I love you too.” Those short yet meaningful words it felt like pieces finally connecting. This is what loving and being loved should feel. Spending their night fairly similar then all the breaks in their day but this time had soft whispers and red cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends. Hello again, I know i said this last time, but im really sorry for the dodgy uploads. I miss this so much and i wrote most of this chapter in a day after fighting with it forever. I have posted a life/writing update on my tumblr (dblwrites) just letting you guys know whats really going on. 
> 
> Thank you all for your continued support! and I am so in love with this store I cant wait to write more and show you guys the rest of it!!! <3


	9. A Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the school year is fast approaching, and questions need to be answered.  
> Can Harry finally find the courage to face his parents over the summer break?

There was no other way he wanted to wake up that morning. Being pinned by creamy hips arms holding him down at his shoulders. Velvet smooth lips mapping their way along his exposed neck. Trying to ignore the soft chime of one of their phones getting a notification. 

A low groan as he closed his eyes, listening to the sweet hum between soft touches of lips. Enjoying the morning treatment since neither had anything to do that early. No pressure to jump up and run out the door, or time frame that didn’t need them out of bed till at least 10. It was a perfect morning with the sun spilling in with the start of daylight. Heat still escapable enough to have the windows open for the ocean air to come flowing through sheer curtains. 

It was maybe closer to being nearly perfect if he was honest. The only thing between getting a great way to wake up was the annoying chime from one of the phones plugged in on the other side of the room. A soft tone ringing out yet again notifying of some sort of message, he really didn’t want to think that far into it since he was trying to get laid. 

“Ok, if your phone goes off one more time. You’re getting nothing.” Clearly he wasn’t the only one getting frustrated as eyes opened so quickly, fast to protest. 

“Woah, hold on. It’s not my phone. It’s surely your’s” Shifting his hands trying to get them free. 

“Can’t be, I put mine on silent last night.” Watching blue eyes match his, hovering just out of reach so there was no way he could silence his blond with a kiss. But that sure didn’t stop him, as he leaned up trying to push against the forearms. 

“Its for sure not mine, it’s yours. I swear, that’s gotta be your family on facebook…” Even with him so far out of reach it didn’t stop him from attempting to get a kiss. 

“No way.. Harry that's your facebook tone.” A pointed look, as fair skin pulled back another inch. 

“It’s yours...” It had taken a second to sink in before he was laughing. “We have the same damn ringtone.” He shrugged his shoulders best he could. 

“Fine, I’ll get it.” Frowning as he tried to catch the hands leaving his to keep the naked body in its spot wanting that weight back not only was the body gone but the thin sheet followed. Groaning at being left lying there naked in all his glory, propping himself on his elbows to watch the pale figure wrapped in the blanket. Eyeing the way their hand ran through the mix of blond and dark hair. 

“You look good. Come back to bed.. Come on.” Trying his best bedroom voice to lure his lover back. 

“A-ah… I just got word that my afternoon meeting got bumped up an hour. Mind saving this for tonight? I promise, anything you want.” Watching the way feet rocked side to side. 

It sounded a bit off as he sat up fully narrowing his eyes. “Yeah.. that’s a strange way to let you know… through facebook.” Clearing his throat quickly. “Toss me my phone yeah?” 

“Sure, love.” The phone was tossed onto the bed just close enough he didn’t have to bend too far forward. “At least we can still go get breakfast I was looking forward to pancakes.” The voice was quiet and distracted as he just nodded in agreement offering a quiet. ‘Yeah’

Swiping his phone unlocked, getting the notifications on his phone. Nothing on his family safe account, but his shared account with the blond, the one for their friends and other family. Page filled with their years spent together. Opening the first notification trying not to show his shock. 

Lit on his page was not just comments from his other halfs parents congratulating them on their wedding anniversary. But to follow where comments from mutual friends and others who had seen the post in the past 8 hours. 

How could he have forgotten his own anniversary, as the phone suddenly went off at the hit of the clocking making it to 8.30 am. Flashing a calendar event ‘WEDDING ANNIVERSARY DON'T FORGET.’ Frowning at his phone, really trying to decide if he shouldn't just pitch it out the window. What was he going to do now. From the time the blanket thieving blond left for the meeting to when he got home he had maybe 5 - 6 hours to really pull something out of his hat. But at that moment he was drawing nothing but blanks. They had said last month no presents this year, since they were on a mission to save up for new wedding bands. And the unexpected trip back home was more then pressing their bank accounts. 

“How soon do we have to leave?” Asking quietly as he turned his phone over and tried to ignore the drop in his stomach. 

“Pretty quick.. Shit, sorry about this..” Their was a frown on soft pink lips that couldn’t go ignored. As he got up, making his way over to other and wrapped his arms around the trim waist. 

“Don’t be.. Work’s important. I like eating so… kinda need you to keep on working.” Getting a knock on the arm, he couldn’t even hold it back. Even if he felt like a dummy for forgetting the date, his smile was so goofy and bright he couldn’t even hold it in. He’d whip something together, anything to keep the smile on his better halfs face. Wrapping arms lower as he grinned. “I don’t need long.” Teasing as he hoisted the blond up into his arms getting a ‘Harry!’ In response as he laughed, guess a quick cold shower would have to suffice till that night. 

 

\----

 

Niall’s eyes looked sad, they had to be mirroring his own. As he watched the blond packing up the large suitcase, prepared for a full 2 months back home, whilst Niall would be back in Ireland, he was sentenced to a lackluster job back home for the same amount of time. They were leaving the same day, which was lucky. The same flight to London, and a connecting flight for Niall were they would have to split ways. And he couldn’t even think about that, there was no way he could do it. 

Getting up once a pair of folded tracky pants hit the bottom of the suitcase, taking the step over and sitting in the case. “Take me with you..” Mumbling quietly his own sadness had to be leaking from green eyes since blue eyes flicked to his eyes and looked away quickly. Seeing the quick flash of a pursed lips before getting a full view of the university crested backwards cap. 

“Stop Harry..” He could hear the thick throat, cluing in quickly that the blond was also getting a bit upset. Watching the tells, as he pulled off his cap and turned it so that the bill was over his forehead. Hands going back to folding clothing, not meeting Harry's gaze. 

“Ni.” Reaching over still in the suitcase, stroking at the soft strands of blond hair peeking through the back of the cap strap. Catching just a glint of watery blue eyes, but not from their sea like colour but from actual tears that had him have to swallow quickly or he would also get choked up. 

Getting the hint that he couldn’t stop him from packing, at least half of his things could stay in the room. He’d already moved a few of his things in just to make traveling easier. His spot was guaranteed for the next year but he was in a different dorm that hadn’t been picked yet. And Niall had the frat so that made that easy. 

But as he sat against the bed on the floor beside his boyfriend who sadly packed the clothes he would need for the summer he couldn’t help but feel so heartbroken. It wasn’t like they were breaking up, if anything they were amazing. The odd fight, but Niall wasn’t clingy or needy. He was independent but would outwardly express what he wanted. It had been so strange to be with someone so willing to have such an open ended conversation about them. There was no defined way things were suppose to be, they where them flaws and all. 

It was more mature than he had even seen, what use to be the epitome of amazing relationships. Being with Niall was teaching him so many things that he had lacked with his previous relationship. And when the blond said that this would test them, he was ready to make it work no matter how hard.   
All Harry could think of where selfish things at this point now, He didn’t want to sleep alone nor did he want to spend two months of pretending to be straight and narrow. The one who went to church on sundays, and didn’t care for current events. The one who blindly followed what ‘the right’ thing to do. 

“Its like 2 months babe.” It sounded more like Niall was trying to convince himself, as he had moved over to fold the pile of clothes on the other side that had needed attention. Possibly using this as a moment stealing a few muscle shirts off the blonds, and putting his sweater in when the blond had reached for the last few shirts. 

“Yeah.. that's not long, we did 2 week. Its just.. 6 more weeks then that. We can do that…” Harry could only mumble in response because even as he said it it sounded so awful. 

“I mean, not only do we love each other.” Finally getting blue eyes, that weren't as wet looking nodding back enthusiastically. “But we are best friends, we’ll text each other and skype non stop since will be in the same time zone.”

“Yeah, we can fall asleep every night listening to one another. And I’m sure your parents who already adore me probably won’t mind you being on the phone with me.” Pointing in Niall’s direction, before pulling his hand back and starting to worry his lip. 

“Hell, I’m sure if they don’t message you every day too and want to be on video chat with you too..They freaking love you.” The last part was muttered quietly. Smiling at that as he nodded, it was true the Horans had taken a liking to him. 

“In their words I’m “A good lad, with strong values and a great head on his shoulders.”’ Doing his best impression of Niall’s dad. That got a laugh out of the blond who was fixing his hat again backwards the way it usually was. 

“True. I mean, all we have to do now is get married.” It was an innocent innuendo, but Niall's face went to pure shock, as Harry froze for a second. “Shit, sorry that was insensitive. No M word..” 

At first it was red lights and warning signs, and maybe 9 months ago it would have been a massive off limit topic. But Niall had been curious and asked about it a few more times, and said that one day he did want to get married. It wasn’t like they hadn’t expressed to one another that they wanted to get married and both wanted large families. Of course never saying with the other but, maybe he did. He already felt like he had a stronger connection to Niall then he had with the one person before him.

“I mean, why not?” It came out so easily, as if he was asking for the pair of blue shorts beside the suitcase. It shocked him how the idea didn’t scare him like when he wondered if it had been the right thing to do when he was younger. This didn’t feel wrong. 

“Harry you can’t be serious.. It was a joke...ish” Eyeing the way he wiggled his shoulders in an adorable half shrug. 

Shaking his head, he really couldn’t see how he really could take it as even a little bit funny. “Yeah I get that. But, I mean. Why not?”

“Hazz, did you hit your head. W-we can’t get married…” The movement of hands stopped their folding and there was bright blues looking at him with serious consideration was written on his face. “Could we?” 

“You said it yourself. We are best friends, who love each other. Your parents know I’m the best you’re ever going to get.” Winking since the blond looked ready to throw something. “I think everyone can see it, I know I can’t see anything else.” 

“So you want to marry me?” 

“I mean… Ni, it’s just a dumb piece of paper. It doesn’t change our feelings. It doesn’t make me want to go running to the hills at the idea… And I mean, kids our age are out there doing dumber shit.”

That got a laugh from his blond. “You’re right.. But I was asking do you wanna Marry me Harry?”

It wasn’t clicking, and by the amusement on Niall’s face the blond was two steps ahead of him. “Yeah Niall, that’s why we are talking about it.” There was that pointed look like he was really being thick as he blinked a few times before it dawned on him. “Oh, a-ah yes. Course I do.” 

Stumbling a bit on his words, was he just proposed to. “So, do you want me to like. Do the whole getting down on one knee? I-I can do that.” Looking around the room and checking his pockets he didn’t have anything like a ring, being very unprepared for this proposal it seemed. 

The shake of the baseball cap, he watched Niall get up. Confused as he watched him check a few places in the room, sock drawer to the top of his book shelf. Then lastly the back of the desk drawer. Not seeing what was in his hands. 

“So they aren't much, sure as hell ain’t a ring.” The blond was working on trying to tie something to his wrist. “So remember before Christmas at the after finals party you got trashed..” He just nodded and blinked in confusion. “Well that was me last spring break. My first year in north America, my first trip to Mexico. And I was… gone, reason why I won’t have tequila anymore. Can’t even look at worms the same anymore.” 

“Ok?” 

“The story has a point. See, during that week of being drunk. I did manage to grab a few keepsakes. And some stuff to send back to mum. But I kept these thinking ‘oh how cool would I look wearing these.’ So worldly and traveled.” A grin was slowly making it across his face as he listened to the very entertaining story and could 100% picture Niall saying that exact thing after a night of drinking. 

“Great, they do look cool. You going to start wearing them now?” 

“Yeah, we both are. I mean…” Watching the blond pull his hand out to examine the black and yellow bracelet. Seeing an identical one in his hand that was black and white. “I mean, they were maybe all of 3p together. Can’t remember was very very hung over.” 

It wasn’t your generic proposal that was for sure. Since the blond sat down in front of him on the floor and held two sides of the hand made bracelet. “Harry Edward Styles. Best friend and lover to Niall James Horan, do you accept my wedding proposal?” 

And of course Niall couldn’t just say will you marry me. But Harry just laughed and nodded. “Duh, had to listen to a long ass story as to why you are tieing a 1p bracelet on my wrist.” That got him a pinch making him flinch but quickly put his arm back, watching the blond tie it with 3 knots then try to pull it off. 

“There, now you’re mine. No going back.” There was a fairly evil laugh that followed but he couldn’t help but dive at the blond, now was the moment to take advantage of what little time they had left together. 

 

Convincing Niall’s parents that this wasn’t a bad idea had taken a few tries, that was inevitable but it still gave them a shock when his mother hung up on them the first time they told her. But by the time they had been packed days from finally flying home, his parents had come around. Now it was the hard part of letting his parents know that he would be leaving a few weeks early. To spend time with his soon to be husband, but also try and tell them. 

It was worse than he could have ever imagined. Standing in the terminal, having to go was turning out to be so much harder. Arms locked around the rowers firm form, feeling the equally tight squeeze. Words whispered sweet promises, tearful scoffs of echoed responses. Harry wasn’t a crier, especially in public but the idea of spending longer than a few days away from Niall was crushing. This wasn’t something he was use to feeling, but it didn’t feel like it was going to change anytime soon.

Time wasn’t on their side that day, no long hours to wait for the others connections. It was already getting too risky keeping the blond locked in his arms, with the call for the starting of the plane boarding to Dublin. This was it, he had to savor the taste and feel of Niall’s lips before he couldn’t freely steal kisses any time he liked. Wondering if this was how it was always going to be, or just because they were young and needy for one another’s attention. But really hoping they wouldn’t change since this felt so real, more real than anything he had ever experienced and it wasn’t as if they wouldn't see eachother soon. 

Harry had to keep reminding himself as he wiped a tear with the pad of his thumb that had escaped from blue eyes. “Get it together.” It was whispered but he wasn’t sure who Niall had meant it for, leaning in for one last kiss before he finally pulled away. 

I love you didn’t feel like enough, there had to be another word for it as they spoke it quiet to one another. Yet he was already walking backwards watching Niall shoulder his bag and wave his hand one more time, before it finally came to him. “I can't wait to marry you!” It was loud, probably louder than it had to be, but it got a few heads turning and even from where he had gotten to he could see how red the blond's cheeks got. 

Not even minding the blond didn’t yell it back, since it was so much better to see how he got flustered and walked the wrong way then back and headed for the correct gate. Harry laughed before he finally righted himself, this sucked. That sinking feeling of not being able to stay with Niall for more of the summer. But it was 6 weeks, it wasn’t a life sentence but it felt close to one as he thought about having to spend the summer with his family. 

The last leg of his journey seemed far less exciting now that he was going solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO FRIENDS!
> 
> I have missed you all so much! New job and life stuff got me super stressed so much i had no inspiration to keep writing. But here it is. Hope this is enough to fuel you guys for the next week. I should have the next update ready for the next week! ENJOY!!!!


	10. To City Hall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summer days are not only hot, they are also long. After waiting long enough its time to reunite and what better way to do it.

It had turned to 5 weeks of questioning looks every time he would leave to answer his phone, especially from his older sister. Having spent as much time as he could avoiding his parents all together after they had mentioned how awfully cheap the bracelet he wore looked. And how messy his hair was, or how he never called yet couldn’t be detached from his mobile. Everything he did or wear or say wasn’t ‘their Harry’. Only encouraging him to stay out of the way, work lots and keep his head down all the while trying to help pitch in with the long distance for their wedding day. Even with that the time had gone by as if it were the slowest tortoise in the world, and as the day got closer the more worked up he was getting. Doing his best not to burst with anticipation, he needed to leave asap or he would say something he regretted. 

Determined to make it, he had gotten so far without a slip up the night before leaving he was sat packing up extra clothes that he would want for the next term in school and what he could wear at Niall’s place. Thinking about his fiance gave him shivers, it wasn’t fair that they had spent their engagement apart. But the torture was so close to ending, all he had to do was not get caught. 

“Whats going on little bro?” There was no knock just the cool calm voice that was so obviously Gemma’s. Startling enough he dropped his phone down into his bag. 

“Uh, what you on about?” Green eyes shooting up to get full sight of the eldest. 

“You’re acting different. I want to know why?” 

“Am not, I already apologized a ton to mum and dad for having to head back early.” Though that part was true, he had felt guilty having to break the news pretty early on that he would have to leave home before expected. Thankful that he had gotten his own credit card to book the flights himself, not needing for them to find out that way. 

Her eyes narrowed as he tried to pick up his phone casually. “Yeah, that’s not it. Is it?” The older took the few steps in. “Your on that a whole lot now… Don’t think you really even used a phone when you lived here…” 

“Just got a few friends now, guess that’s a reason to use it. Can you go, kind of have to finish packing.” 

“Harry, we never use to keep things from each other… I know you’re hiding something.” Shaking his head as he locked his phone to stop her prying eyes from catching the photo he had just received. It was harmless one of Niall showing off his arms, that really made his heart beat fast but to anyone else would just be a weird lad sending a lad type photo. 

It felt like he was on pins and needles when she had decided to actually sit on his bed, turning so he could keep her in his sight. It was quiet, as he grabbed for another shirt to fold up and stuff into his suitcase trying to stop himself from feeling so bad from keeping his world from her.   
.   
“Are you dating someone..?” It came out quietly but it felt like a sting as he tried to stone his face and shake his head. “Harry… what’s wrong with her? she’s not you know, not white? Im sure they wouldn’t say anything. They aren’t that bad..” The olders voice was cautious. 

“Woah, what… why would that be an issue!” That had shocked him even more, since he had never realized that that was a serious issue for his family. It shouldn’t have been, but he frowned at the meir thought.. 

“Oh god, it’s worse?.. Is she not of the faith, Harry you know they would lose it.” Her hushed tone had him going from her, to his door to make sure his parents weren’t standing there. When did it become ok for his sister to say things like this.

“Worse? So you’re saying if I was dating a person of colour it would be bad but there are worse things like who they pray to?” Watching her eyes go wide and how she flinched back, he had never spoken out like that. Or really had an opinion of any matters before moving away. 

“Shh! Harry.. I go to school in London I get the pressures our family holds over us..” He doubted that as he breathed out, feeling still so shocked by this, how aware he was now. How much he had changed as he shook his head. “What have you done Harry?” 

Looking at his bracelet, the very one that his family had ridiculed as being tasteless, telling him it made him look like some sort of free spirited hippy. Something to him that proved love wasn’t just a house and kids and church on sundays, that it was with the one person who was more than willing to accept him for him.

“I haven’t done anything Gemma. Stop snooping, you know what it’s like moving away from home and making friends.. They are just very interested in what I’m doing ok… get off my back.” 

Getting a huff in response as she leaned forward talking quieter. “You know I wouldn’t tell..” But even as he nodded, he knew he couldn’t trust her, not with this. Not when he was so close to leaving and not expected back for ages. He was to close to being with Niall that he couldn’t put that in jeopardy if the older went and blabbed to their parents. Fearful that there was a massive chance his parents would try to stop him from leaving it they knew. 

“There is nothing to tell. Im sorry Im leaving earlier than expected. But I’ll be home before you know it and we can maybe talk more than..” Scratching his head, it was all he could offer maybe it could get her off his back for right now. Harry couldn’t be sure that she wasn’t exactly like their parents. It took moving to another country to have him question his entire view on his life, he wasn’t sure she had learned to question like he had.

They didn’t talk about it again, once he was packed having a sleepless night. Tossing and turning it was finally going to be the day he got to see Niall again. No more calls that lasted till 5 in the morning, or skype calls that were grainy and unfulfilling or helping plan from so far away. It was finally his time to show how much he had missed his husband to be. It was time for them to get married. 

Morning felt like it had taken ages to come, the dull break in the dawn wasn’t even enough to make him tired. It felt like he had drank 6 shorts of espresso and he had yet to have a drop of caffeine. Offering the best of partings, but he was done living in what felt like black and white. In faded colours, that only made the quiet more quiet. 

He was back in the back of the yellow volvo, no snow stopping the tires from making it up the small hill. It didn’t feel as sad leaving his parents, he was so close to meeting his new ones for the first time. Waving good bye as he got on the train heading towards manchester, sighing in relief once he was sat being slowly pulled away from the station.

It felt like a weight was lifted off him, knowing for sure his family was not ready for this. After the longest 5 weeks ever trimming back the 2 months the best they could. It still meant a month and 7 days away from certain gorgeous blond. After having to act like nothing had changed, that he wasn’t making a huge decision. 

Realizing while he was home that his parents were very blinded by a lot of things. How could they not see why the things they would say or gossip about where mean or rude. But he could think about that later. He just needed to get to Niall.

 

Hours on a train, then waiting in the airport. It felt like everything, from the train ride any washroom lineup, to his flight boarding, it all took ages. Then to wait on the runway, then the line out of the plane. How did anyone not know he was about to see the most important person in the world. Practically running from the gate once he was free, taking off toward the exit.. Awkwardly running with the constant smack of the bag on his hip. Weighed down with the addition of the large back pack and breathing hard as he finally made it out to the main waiting area. Green eyes alight with the need to find a shock of blond hair, or something that had the University crest. Finally landing on rosy cheeks, and half moons caused by still baby faced cheeks. It was like a rush of colour fell over the world again. As if the sun was now shining brighter and that colours became more crisp. Shuffling to find a way out of the fenced off exit area, before he was finally free. 

There he stood in jean shorts and a cut up muscle top, arms exposed with a pair of red sunglasses propped up above the bill of the cap he was wearing. It was more epic then his return after christmas, less goofy and more relieved. He could have started crying if he wasn’t so glad to be in the arms, taking steps that were bringing him closer to the end goal. Dropping his backpack and dumping the duffle off his shoulder onto the ground. Giving him the freedom to wrap arms around the older. Faces were mashed into shoulders trying to get contact, like an off type of neck mating. Every bit of contact was lighting him on fire, from their feet finding the easiest way to stand right up against each other to the grip of the blond’s hand holding onto his shirt tightly.

He smelt so good the first thing he could make out of the mess of emotions. It felt like he was finally home after being away for so long. The soft whisper of how much he was missed being spoken softly against his ear. Maybe they were dramatic but this was something that he had been thinking about since he had last seen him. Pulling back just enough to see bright blue eyes extra shiny from the build up of tears. 

It wasn’t enough to say it, he had to feel pink lips on his. To taste the sweet blond after so long apart. So maybe their reunion was attracting a bit of a spectacle but it really couldn’t be helped. 

It took a few tries to pull apart. At first he couldn't do it, the idea of letting the waist out of his grip seemed terrifying. But the slow realization that they were drawing more attention he finally let go, bashfully smiling while cheeks started burning as he collected his bag off the floor. Niall had his duffle before he could get his pack on properly, just all smiles hand out for Harry to take as he let Niall bring him towards the car park. 

The only way he could explain the feeling was dizzy, here he was in the warm late afternoon. Looking over to take in blue eyes, unable to stop himself from needing to be closer as he moved his arm around the older's hips leaning in to kiss his jaw. Never had it occurred to him that Niall had facial hair though he would have to get a better look once they were alone. 

A tender touch from a rough hand, one that had spent a lot of the summer rowing and working, touched the side of his cheek making him tilt his head just enough to get in another kiss. This was so out of character he wasn’t the needy clingy boyfriend. But he couldn’t get enough even as they detached Niall having to tell him to put his pack in the boot before he realized he was still carrying the massive bag. 

“Alright. Get in.” Niall was closing the back and nodding toward the side of the car even if he had to fighting the urge to walk around and head to the right side of the car he smiled and nodded. “Did you forget how to speak during your travels?” 

All he could do was take in the voice, it sounded deeper maybe it was because his accent had thickened with his time. It wasn’t faded out by bad speakers or surrounded by other voices of the mans family. Blue eyes stared at him a brow raised causing him to blink. 

“A-ah. No haven’t forgotten… Hi.” Breathing out shakily as he smiled leaning over to kiss the blond's shoulder. Getting a laugh and it was so amazing as he chuckled this was silly he was being weird but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t know how to act around his future husband now that he was finally with him. So excited to just be with him it made it hard to focus on much like talking or breathing for that matter. 

“Hey.” There was no way he wasn’t looking like a major dork with the goofy smile on his lips. “Ready to meet my parents.” Nodding quickly, yes he was ready.

“Yeah. I mean i'm wrecking myself but i'm sure it will be fine. They have been nice on video chat.” It took alot for him to look away from the driver as he took in the exit of the airport parking lot and out onto the main road. Knowing all to well they would be staying somewhere outside of Dublin, but not the others home city of Mullingar due to his father uprooting them to the big city to be closer to the rowing. 

“It’s going to be fine. Really I think they are just as excited as I was. Couldn’t sleep a wink last night. So damn excited.” Harry couldn’t get enough of his fiance's voice it was soothing taking in the lush green trees. Every so often realizing he was just watching the blond whose red sunglasses where on and protecting from the sun. At least the next day would be beautiful weather. 

So it had been more than he had expected, one second they were getting out of the car and the next he was already being welcomed by a short fair haired older woman he assumed was Niall's mum, arms wrapped around him. A tight squeeze and a clap on the back and he was being ushered in leaving the blond at the car as they went inside. An alien feeling with all the contact he could swear the woman hadn't dropped her hand from around his sides as she did a very fast rundown of where what was in the house. 

It couldn't have been more than 10 minutes before Niall was separating his mother and him at the mention of albums. All he could do was smile and shrug once Niall was practically pushing him up the stairs of the two story home. The small voice calling at them to hurry up back for dinner.

“I warned you.” 

“That you did.” Laughing as he went straight towards Niall's room. Having had the tour via video chat, and countless snack trips to the kitchen. It was better in real life though. He'd have to take a good look around once he was settled. 

The door closed behind him, arms wrapping around his middle and the familiar feeling of Niall's chin on his shoulder trying to relax the best he could in the arms. His room looked the same just bigger, he was here in Niall's room about to spend the last of their summer together. 

“Babe.” It was quite, the way he had dreamed of hearing his voice. “show me.” So sweetly that it took him a few beats to reply.

“show you what?” Though his mind was already going where the hand that was settled just under his belly button now pushing lower. 

Eyes going wide as the familiar hand started to dip at the front of his pants. “You know what I want to see…Harry.” That made him laugh partly from joy but also shock as he pulled forward trying to turn.

“Not this again, I-I sent you a picture. It's where it should be. “ The smile was so large, listening to the low chuckle close. Catching hands as he finally faced the Irishman stepping back, being pursued one retreating step matched by Niall. The back of his leg hit the end of the bed as he sat back on the mattress. 

“It was a very realistic dream. I swear.” Though he couldn’t tell if there was an seriousness behind the tone with the constant smile. Pulling one of the hands forward, kissing the back of it, the laughter calming down turning the room quiet once again. As he kissed his way up one arm, when he couldn’t reach any higher changing his course across the older's chest. Soft kisses landing right in the center of his ribcage, even though the fabric he could feel how warm Niall’s skin was. Blinking up from the spot, waiting for lips to meet his. 

Harry felt the pull of his hands, guiding them round the slim waist where he dropped the grip in turn for the feeling of a muscular back. Niall's knee came beside his thigh, then the other. Holding on in a firm grasp just to keep the jock in place. Arms slid around his shoulders as the weight settled on his thighs. Hands free to explore the developed muscles. 

Soft lips met again, and again. In a steady rhythm slow at first, exploring fully what it felt like to be back in one another's space. But it changed gears quickly, soon it was harder kisses and tighter grips. Harry wasn’t to sure when the hips against his had started moving but he was starting to pain for more contact. 

“Move back, love.” Niall’s voice was a delectable mix of hot breathing and urgency. 

Harry was so ready to just agree, nodded quickly not even bothering to look back as he reached back and moved up the bed, the blond’s body quick to cover his. Not even a second later niall was back against his hips the new angle giving him a new advantage of pushing back which got a soft curse word out of hot pink lips. 

Not sure how this had escalated so quickly as he did his best to pull his head back at the soft curse. Suddenly feeling panicked, “s-sh- Niall. Wait what about your parents.”

The older stopped eyes blinking open looking adorably confused then looking over a broad shoulder. “Its closed.” was all he got as the attention was brought to his neck. 

“Ni, what if they catch us?” starting to feel more worried and ignore the soft reeling that wasn't helping their twin situation below. 

“Harry.” The voice was calming and soft, with a shift there was the weight of a hand against his curly head petting comfortingly till he met blue eyes. “I don't expect this to take long love. Do you?” 

That took him by surprise, the idea of his jock of a boyfriend was in just the same amount of need that he had been since then they had been apart. Swallowing hard before he nodded, hoping the blond was right.

As lips started off gently and quickly they moved fast to regain their earlier pace. Which didn't seem all that hard to recover. Their need to have more contact had them not even bothered with undressing as Harry could feel himself at full attention and judging by the bulge being rubbed back against himself he wasn’t the only one enjoying this. Needing it, as his mind went quiet focused more on the quick pants of hot breath against his ear or the soft squeak of the mattress in protest. 

Groaning low at the building of pressure with Niall's tell being the whimper and a sudden sharp pain in his shoulder. Teeth pinching down thought his shirt, it sounded so painfully needy the muffled plea. One warning of a sudden need to release. Though he couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t already at that point. Harrys hands gripped hips keeping their pace hard and fast against his own need grinding up against the blonds crotch. 

A sudden gasp of his name, had him finally erupting from the build. Trying to keep his curse quiet between hard breaths in need to fill his lungs with full breaths. Hips out of their harsh grip in awkward mismatched rhythms slowing long pushes, both trying to find a steady breath. 

He could feel it the soft vibration, before finally hearing a quiet chuckle. “Well worth ruining some shorts for.” Lush irish accent sounding heavy as Harry smiled and nodded feeling less worked up all of a sudden.

“Weren’t prepared for that.” Though he was only half sure that made some sort of sense, getting an amused humm in reply. Niall’s slightly shorter frame shifting enough to lay on part of the bed. Turning the best he could to get into a position to have a good view of the man's face. 

With his eyes closed Harry studied the blissful face, how his skin shone from the dew of sweat and the pinks in his cheeks very much so red from the effort. Harry could see this in full colour and vibrancy with his own eyes and that made his heart sore. Taking it in, like a man drinking for the first time after a journey through the desert. Wanting to never look away as blue eyes fluttered open soft and sleepy, with that ease of a smile. 

Nothing was said, but his intake continued. From the red in his kiss swollen lips to the dip in his chin, even along the man’s jaw where he could really see the facial hair trying to come through in the late afternoon. Reaching up from the slope of Niall’s waist up to run his thumb over the slightly rough skin. Never realizing that Niall could even grow facial hair similar to himself. 

“Does it freak you out?” Niall was quiet, where he laid letting Harry do as he please. Green eyes took a slow path back up to blues that were watching him study. Trying to think if it did make him feel weird. But as quick as he thought it he was already shaking his head. 

“No..” It was calculated sounding he could already tell, since Niall had that annoying grin he knew Harry was thinking. Leaning in slowly, as if he was going to give the awaiting lips a kiss. Bypassing the sweet pinks for the light dusting of hair against his lover's jaw. Running his lips over a small section, getting the poke of hair but it wasn’t enough of contact as he rubbed his cheek against the rough sensation. But it wasn’t painful just a different sensation that had a shiver run down his spine. 

Pulling back his bottom lip between his teeth as he narrowed his eyes making his finally decision. “I like it.” It finally came out as he relaxed back. “It kind of reaffirms that you're a guy.” 

“Are you implying a woman can’t have a beard.” It caught him off guard before he awkwardly shook his head. 

“No.. I mean.. I..” There was that look, the one of an overly amused Niall that had Harry crack a smile. “Shut up.” 

“Hey.. thats no way to talk to your very soon to be husband.” But he was already on his mission to attack the sensitive sides of his lover. There was a flinch then a gasp “No Harry, dont. We’re gross.. “ 

 

Harry shifted a few times and nodded, it wasn’t pleasant the feeling in his shorts. “Alright… You’re safe for now.” Teasing as he finally got up stretching, it was starting to settle in how gross he actually felt not just from the mess but from having been on on the go since early that morning now that it was almost evening. “I think I need a shower..” Looking over his shoulder at Niall who was up with his pants almost fully off.

“Me too.” A wicked grin at the blonds face, clearly he had had the same idea. Keeping an eye on the blond as he changed shamelessly to a pair of baggy jersey shorts, then leading the way out toward the bathroom. 

“Boys, Dinners in 5.” The call came from the base of the stairs where Niall's mom stood looking up. 

“Thanks mum.” 

Almost in the clear as they both walked passed the stairs. “What are you boys up to?” The small voice calling up. 

“Nothing, just showing Harry the shower.” Stopping in their tracks, peeking back down the stairs to the short woman. 

“Not together I would presume, Harry’s a big boy darling. Im sure he doesn’t need your help.” Having to quickly bite his lips together to stop the laugh he had. 

“Mum, it’s not like that.. It’s to preserve water.” 

There was so much joy in watching Niall be told what to do by his mother. As she told him off for that and to help her finish dinner. As Harry grinned shrugging, as he turned toward the shower snickering. As Niall quickly pointed out the clean towels and gave him a quick kiss before he was heading down stairs. 

 

Dinner had been filling with the aid of loud talking from the family, even Niall's older brother had arrived there in time to join the meal. Everyone seemed to try to talk over one another and it was confusing at first but it felt nice to be part of it all. They had made their way into the living room with Niall's dad, all watching the match of the day highlights.

Blond sitting close, but it wasn’t till a sun kissed hand had taken his that his attention was snapped to his side then to the others family in the room. Trying to pull his hand away, before looking back at his fiance and getting an odd look. Finally accepting that they were not like his parents as he nodded back and settled his hand back in the others. 

“I think we’re going to head to bed.” Niall had pushed to the edge of the couch stretching. 

“Your brothers bedroom has the blow up in it.” The eldest grinned from where he sat across the room. 

“What?” Looking from the questioning blond to the rest of the room.

“Just because you’re getting married tomorrow doesn’t make that tonight. Different rooms.” The older Irishman's voice was firm but more matter of fact. 

“Come on da, that's so traditional.” 

“And no funny buisness. Just because it’s at city hall doesn’t mean we won’t treat it like any other.” Nodding quickly since Niall's dad was the tiniest amount of intimidating. Looking at Niall and patting his knee. 

“You lasted till today, one more night isn’t going to hurt you two.” The older woman spoke softer as Harry nodded. 

“That's true Mrs. Horan. Don't worry we’ll be fine.” Standing up and trying to stiffen the yawn trying to escape. It was easy to see that Niall didn’t feel the same, though he still followed along with the smallest pull of encouragement. Thanking the family and leading his pouty fiance up the stairs. “Come on, I’ll help you with the bed.” 

Harry mused softly watching as Niall in a huff unfolded the air mattress. “Why? They know we sleep together in uni, why is on our damn wedding night not ok. It’s not like we would do something…” Smirking at the pause as he looked up from the pump he had grabbed from inside the box at the blond trying to find the right word in his annoyance. “..Loud.” Arms tossed down the end of the mattress in a fit. 

“Ni.” Trying to get his blonds attention. Though it seemed useless as all Niall wanted to do was sulk around. Moving off the bed and crouching at the end of the mattress setting the pump up and started stepping on it all the while listening to the rant. 

“Why do I have to sleep in Greg's room. Like he's meant to keep an eye?” It wasn’t hard to see the blond starting to let it all get to him. “Did you know I've never let a guy sleep over here before, I’ve been respectable and it's not like we haven’t been patient.” It had to be more than just the fact that Niall didn’t want to sleep in Greg's room. 

“Ni.. It's one night, why is this getting to you?” Reaching up to stop the blond from pacing past him. 

“I just, I’m just getting you back. I don't want to wake up tomorrow and you not be here.. “ Frowning his brows together as he looked up from where he was knelt on the floor hands keeping Niall in front of him. 

“Woah, where would I be?” The weight of a hand pushing away dark curls off his forehead. Reaching up into the touch to get more of the contact. 

“I dunno. Just nervous I guess.. For tomorrow, like what if.” Niall’s eyes looked worried, in a way Harry rarely saw since his blond was usually seemed so carefree. Now feeling his heart start to pound faster, worried Niall was getting mixed feelings something he had actually never thought of till that moment. Tugging the older's hand to get him to continue. “What if?” asking quietly in response. 

“What if you get up tomorrow and think. ‘Rather not.’” Accent changing to what Harry could only assume was an impression of his accent, as he took a deep breath and shook his head. Standing up So they were close to one another's heights. 

“Don’t think that will happen love. I know for a fact that if it's not you it's no one else.” Keeping his lock on the olders hips firm, waiting for any kind of reply, finally he leaned in and nudged the soft cheek with his nose. “Ok?”

“Ok.” It was quiet but it was confirmation. “I-I don't know why I feel so freaked.” Niall's head settled against Harry’s neck getting in “I'm just, I don’t want to sleep without you tonight Haz. You're here, you're finally here with me. And i feel like you're a sweet that is just out of reach.” 

Raising a brow since it was rare that his husband to be ever acted this needy. “Oh, getting a bit clingy are we?” Doing his best to pull a funny voice, since it was something he felt too. Not really wanting to spending the night alone when Niall was actually just across the landing from him. 

“Shut up..” Coming out muffled but he wasn’t going to deny a long hug from the other just standing in the center of the room. It wasn’t till Greg unannounced walked into the room that they finally finished blowing up the air mattress, in quick steps to get ready for bed. 

Harry was lucky, after Niall had insisted on walking him the short walk to the door of his room, getting a good night kiss. That once he was in bed just in his boxers on the warm summer night. Breathing in what was all Niall's, his room his blankets his pillow, everything that smelt of his fiance. 

Even if he had felt nervous about the next day he could hardly keep his eyes open. Even the call that came in just a few minutes after the lights were off couldn’t keep him awake on the phone mer minutes he was asleep. Warning the blond who didn’t seem to fazed by Harrys lack of talking back or the inevitable steady breathing that came as sleep finally fell upon him. 

 

-You awake?-

The screen lit up his face once whe finally checked it. Shutting his eyes tightly as he woke from the best sleep he had had in weeks. Shifting round to free his other arm attempting to send a message off. 

-mmhmmm- 

 

Not having to wait for a response as he heard the call of the olders mother. “Where do you think your going?” Closing his eyes as he listened to the muffled conversation. “Just to wake him up ma. Promise!” hearing the slight whine in his fiance's voice, knowing for sure he was annoyed about the night before. 

There was a quick exchange before the door creaked open. No squeak of floor boards could have prepared him for the sudden cool air hitting his back, soft fabric quickly replaced by a tshirt. And their for something much firmer than a pillow. “Morning love.” Voice sweet against his ear in a tender whisper. 

Harry’s voice cracked with a yawn interrupting his echo of ‘morning’ stretching hands out and then relaxing back against the body behind him. Reaching back to cup the back of the head that was pushing against his shoulder. Gripping softly then patting gently, it didn’t feel the same as the night before as he squinted his eyes open looking back best he could. Catching the glimpse of a dark side of the olders head. 

“You cut your hair?” Asking quickly as he rolled in the blankets to face him. Blinking sleep from his eyes quickly as his hand was up to stroke the freshly cut sides. Fingering the dark hairs. 

“Does it look alright?” Niall sounded sheepish, as Harry inspected the new hair cut. Lip in between the row of teeth. Following the fade of dark hair going into light on top where niall still had his blond left slightly grown out but it made his face look longer. Never realizing how dark his boyfriend's hair really was eyes finally looking into blue and nodding. 

Breaking a smile as he wrapped his arms around the firm shoulders. “Just glad you're not Marrying me with a damn baseball cap on.” 

“Because you’ve said that guess I’m going to have to wear it.” The banter was only half serious as Harry pulled a shocked face but just smiled. Settling into the older in any way that would get him the most amount of contact regardless of comfort. 

Feeling of fingers pushing into the mess of curls, causing him to shiver. “Did you sleep alright?” It was hardly above a whisper, making Harry want to cling to that voice and not get up for the next week. 

“The best sleep in weeks, honestly.” His own hand pressing and dragging down along the olders curved waist. “Nearly perfect.” Harry whispered softly as he dipped his hand under the hem of the tshirt and pushed under to get some sort of contact. 

“Nearly?” Feeling the words more than hearing them as he looked up. 

“Just missing something. Not sure what it was..” Trailing off as he got a goofy smile in return and sighed. “This bed is too big, it's hard to relax knowing I won't fall off.” Teasing as that got him rough ruffle of his hair. 

Laying like that till they were being forced to get up by Niall's older brother who knocked once quickly calling “Better be decent” and charged in. Niall was already trying to groan but greg was already talking. “Come on get up, isn’t this like bad luck?” Pointing to the two of them still in bed under the covers. 

Harry’s cheeks flushed red, feeling like they could really get in trouble. Unable to feel fully safe yet with the idea that his parents where going to find out. Breathing out quickly as he sat up properly shirtless. 

“W-woah, ok.. Nothing funny you two, time for breakfast.” And with that he was gone, no drama or questions if they were really doing anything just a quick exit with Niall calling out that he was clothed. 

Breakfast had gone by quick, as everyone seemed to be in good moods and the sun was even shining bright despite rain warnings earlier that week. Taking the stairs two at a time to get up and start dressing for the 1 pm time slot they had. There was the zippered bag hanging up greg's room beside a matching one for Niall. 

It felt odd, everything had been done without much of his help. He had gone a town over to get his measurements to send over to Niall's mum to get his tux fitted. Nothing was overly fancy or the best of the best but it was closer to who they were. Not really ones to want more then they had. Taking one button at a time on the dress shirt, eyeing the the cross as he tucked it in quickly and let out a quick sigh. As he stood looking at himself in the mirror, chewing on his lip as his hands worked quickly trying to calm the mess of curls. 

“Babe?” Voice coming through the door as he now became more nervous of Niall seeing him now then he was of his first trip down the aisle. The first time didn’t feel this real, even if this wasn’t a bad nervous it was more excited but it was easy to get the two confused at the moment. 

“Y-yeah.” Calling out finally as he held the tie in his hand and swung it round the back of his neck. “You can come in.” Not looking up yet from where he was trying to fix his tie, as if he hadn’t put one on every sunday since he had left for University. 

“Wow.” 

Looking up from his spot in front of the mirror, though Niall's worlds where as if they were taken from him. The Irishman looked good in a fairly similar suit, but everything looked effortless on him. From how his hair had been styled and his tie being already in place, the shine in his shoes. “I should be saying that.”

“No way.. You're gorgeous.” Steps made them closer, as Niall came right in front of him. The burn of blue eyes looking him over again. 

“I dunno, Ni. Should I have gone and got a Haircut this morning? Or maybe I should have picked a bow tie instead of this one. Do you think the sleeves are too short.” It was nervous word jumble as he talked quickly with feeling so unsure of himself now. 

“W-woah, take a breath Harry. Its fine you look amazing.” Eyes were bearing up at him. With his mouth in Niall's eye range he couldn’t keep up the nervous lip biting so he went to fiddling with his bracelet nervously. 

Doing as he was instructed, taking a breath but it couldn’t stop him. “What if I fuck this up. Like last time, what if.. What if I'm not a good husband.” Feeling so unfocused as he started to take quicker breaths. It felt like it was rushing back to him the disappointment of his family and her’s, the blame of it all feeling as if it was weighing down on him all over again. 

Hands took his to stop his nervous fidgeting as Niall calmly spoke “Harry. Stop, Hey stop freaking.” Fingers laced into one another's as he looked down at their hands and back up into the sea of light blue. “Do you still want to marry me?” 

Blinking as if out of a dazz and nodding. “yes 100%. Niall I want to be with you forever.” Realization hitting him. No one had asked him that before, no one had expected that he was just robotically going along. But this was hard and with heavy emotions this was the man he wanted to be with even as young as they were. 

“Then all that other shit doesn’t matter. Its me and you know.” Hands gripped even tighter as he nodded. Taking another breath as he started to calm down and try to enjoy the short amount of alone time they had. 

“OK.. Okay.” Leaning in to kiss the blond. “Thank you.” Standing up straight and deflating quickly. “Are you sure my hair is ok? What about a bow tie, should I switch.” 

The laughter was calming as he smiled, not sure he had smiled his first time around but this time he was determined to enjoy every second of the small affair. Once Niall had fixed the few rogue curls as best he could, and helped Harry with his tie. Nodding as he felt pretty proud of who he was going to be standing beside. 

Off they went, all stuffed into the car heading towards city hall. With small flowers pinned to their coats and the loud chatter of 3 trying to direct Niall's dad where to park. It was madness but it was about to be his new family and he couldn't be more Happier. 

They had applied already, waited the days. With Harry’s previous marital status it meant a few extra bits of paper saying the marriage had been enulled with in 6 months and that his date of address was technically Niall's parents now. Since he couldn’t have mail delivered to his parents but he didn’t say that. As they finally got past the extra papers it was easy sailing. 

In the small room dedicated for civil marriage, a few rows of chairs and an official looking man in a suit and a book that didn’t look like the bible. After words about the duty to each other and nothing about the lord. It was almost done, asking if they had intended to exchange rings.

It had been quick but sweet as they talked softer finally having declared their union in front of Niall's parents and his brother. The thin matching bands that was really all they could afford not wanting to ask the olders parents for much more help than they had already done. There was no way he could ever repay them for how much time they had taken to help them make this possible. 

Smiling wide feeling like he was on top of the world as they drove to a nearby park, Niall's mother insisting they take a photo of them not in city hall or their house. Taking a long detour before they were finally all back in the car, not realizing why it had taken so long but if the meant pleasing his now mother-in-law he'd oblige.

As they pulled into the block, where there were multiple cars parked along the side, more than before. Looking round trying to figure out who was having the gathering. “Mum, whats going on?” Niall asked from Harries side as they both look around. 

“Nothing much dear, we just invited a few friends round to celebrate.” 

Looking over at Niall as they walked up toward the house a questioning look aimed for his now husband. "Honestly, no clue." Receiving a shrug from the fancy dressed older. 

They walked through the house it had all looked normal, it wasn’t till they walked through the house to the lightly decorated back yard with party flags along the fence. The crowed of people Harry had never seen erupting in cheers as they walked though. Taking in the overwhelming sight of happy faces clapping. It was only the mid afternoon, but their was a barbecue smoking away at the far side of the space. Trying not to overthink this and just go with it, this wasn’t an angry mob telling them that they were sinners. This was a surprisingly large amount of support for a day they thought they would just have a regular night's meal and head to bed. 

“Mum, this is insane.” It pulled him out of his zone as he looked to his side just in time to take in Niall's silly grin and wave of his hand at the group. Hearing her smaller voice tell him off and to go say hello to his nan. Turning it into a whole afternoon into evening of a party. Meeting almost all of Niall's family in one go, trying to remember names and how they were related and sometimes not related to the Horans family. 

If his parents had been there it would have been all out deboquary since the group had been drinking before they had even shown up and it seemed as like no one was stopping. Niall had come up and apologized a few times before they pulled apart and then pushed together to greet people together. 

Feeling dazed as fairy lights running along the fence flickered on as the light faded in the late evening. Not realizing how much time had gone by as the group had not died down if anything it had felt like things were starting to pick up and become louder. As he stood on the side of the part with the same beer he had been nursing all night determined not to get drunk and make a fool of himself in front of his new family. 

Harry was standing opposed to an older man whose accent was fairly thick and he had to strain to hear him over the noise levels. “But you boys didn’t have a stag night?” 

 

Nails voice came from behind him as an arm looped around his waist thankful to see the older as he sighed out. “We met in uni, thats more then enough of a stag do.” Not that this wasn’t great but it was exhausting. “Do you mind, I think they are saying something about cake.” As he was already being led away thanking the man as he hooked his own arm around the older's waist. 

Blushing bright red as they came to a halt in front of the simple cake, The blond having whispered in his ear about finally getting his alone time. The flashes off camera phones and the groups family surrounded watching as they cut cake. Glancing to the side just in time to see the flicker of a smirk and he knew what was on the olders mind. 

Standing hip to hip, both with small bites each aiming toward each others mouth. Harry picked up the speed a bit when he noticed the other doing the same as he felt soft sweet cake missing his mouth and hitting the side of his cheek just off from his lips. Doing the same the smear cake on Niall's face anywhere he could reach.

It was that loud booming laugh and the way Niall's head fell back with his eyes closed to laugh harder that had him in a trance for this boy. Laughing with Niall and as it where the group of nicely dressed adults. Nodding in agreement after the laugh attack that the cake was good. Cake tasting kisses stopping as they finally stepped back to help pass around small plates. 

It has taken at least 20 minutes after to finally disappear from the party. The volume of voices and music lowering as they retreated from the party. Walking through the house his hand in the familiar grip being lead upstairs. 

Harry's heart was pounding in his chest as every step was taking him farther from the party to the privacy of his husband's bedroom. 

They had waited for what had felt forever as steps brought them face to face. But even with that Niall's lips held a shy smile. Harry's hands fumbling with the sides of Nialls tucked in shirt deciding to just settle them on slim hips. 

Lifting his gaze from lips to sparkling blues, cracking his own smile. Standing in the faint light in the center of the bedroom. The soft graze of hands holding his shoulders waiting, maybe he would give it a second and make a move. A second turned longer as the stared. 

“is this weird?” Niall spoke with a quizzing tone even if he held a smile. 

“a bit.” Nodding as fingers pushed against the base of his neck causing him to shiver at the contact.. 

“Why?” 

“Because you're mine.” Harry took the step forward pulling the trim hips against his, leaning in to capture lips that had been taunting him all day. Only to be just out of reach as Niall arched back just far enough to keep ahead of distance. 

“Excuse me, let's make this clear. Your mine.” The challenging tone had him grinning as he finally received the contact he had be after. Lips colliding against his, quickly with intense need at first. 

There had been a need, but it wasn’t the kind from the day before. Not the bone crushing, ear ringing need to find release. It was like being on pins and needles. Every touch soothed the nervous giggles, and every gasp of breath made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end in the most delicious sense of want. 

It was unreal how the previous event like this could have been jarringly unalike. Where nervous hands were sure, and lips knew where to land to get the best response. Awkward fumbling trying to understand a foreign anatomy was replaced with sureness that brought confidence. 

Any time there was a lull to catch one's breath or the stillness that came in the wake, between soft whispers of undying love. Harry could hear the faint sounds, unsure of time. It could have been 30 minutes or 4 in the morning. He wasn’t sure, but glad for the noise to hide the joint effort of eager voices mixing. 

Harry was about to spend his first ever carefree summer, with his husband and his new in-laws. In the same room, working for one of Niall's uncles to make up some money for the next term. Realizing that for the first time he was comfortable with the idea of being happy. 

\-----

Taking a step back, he had done it. Actually done it, after borrowing his friend’s truck and setting it up with blankets. A picnic basket filled with food, with the sound of the waves hitting the rocks. They had spent quite a few nights at this spot, with an hour or so till sunset this would do nicely. Needing a break from their real life work to appreciate his favorite blond. 

Walking to the main road hidden by the short hill side road. Meeting a very happy looking husband who was shouldering a small backpack .”Seriously thought my uber driver thought I was taken’em somewhere sketchy.” All he could do was laugh as he finally reached the blond taking his hand and leading him toward their spot. Just listening to the ramble of Niall’s voice explaining the meeting. 

“Oh-Harry… this is cute.” Grinning as he turned to watch how happy Niall looked. 

“Thought we could maybe watch the sunset and have something to eat..” An arm was looping around his waist and moving in closer, as he felt the warm body settle into its usual spots. 

“Fucking romantic.” Looking over at the blond resting against his shoulder. Leaning down to kiss the side of his temple. Once getting Niall’s attention he nodded towards the truck bed, both climbing in and getting comfy enough to pick through the food. 

Harry could only ever want to keep sharing moments like this, where Niall was tucked against him. No noise between them just the natural sounds around them. Comfortable in their own silence not needing to be thinking of something clever all the time or a way to impress. Taking time together made the idea of going home become easier. He had Niall he could do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends! 
> 
> I have for you another chapter update. I cant promise when the next one is. But im hoping it will go up soon> This also was such a long chapter to write. Even though as i post it, it wont feel as long. Hope you all enjoy i worked forever on it. 
> 
> Sorry for the delay! have a great week!!!


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